Charmed

(Piper is on the phone with Paige, who called to say that Wyatt orbed Chris out of Magic School. The doorbell rings, and Piper opens the front door to find Victor on the porch holding a baby.) Victor: I hope this is yours, because it sure isn't mine.

(As he watches Phoebe through his office glass window as she walks across the bullpen to leave) Leslie (to himself): If she turns around, that means she likes me. Come on, Phoebe, don't let me down. You can do it. Turn around. (Phoebe stops at the door, then turns around to look at him, before she walks away) That-a-girl.

Patty (reciting a spell): Reverse the spell from the book, and please restore what was...took. (Victor gives her a look) Patty: I made it up when I was nine.

Victor: We're talking about my daughter here. So I get a say in this. Grams: No, with birthdays and holidays, you get a say. With magic and demons, what I say goes.

Phoebe: Well, well, I-I hugged you because I was just...you know...grateful for what you did. Leslie: I don't know. You squeezed me pretty tight. Phoebe (exasperated): Yeah, I was pretty grateful!

(After Patty asked the girls, who are acting very immature, due to a spell, to stand up) Piper: She said now, Phoebe. Phoebe: I heard her, Piper! Piper: Today Phoebe! Phoebe: Geez you're so bossy.

Piper: Way to go Grams. Grams: Piper don't be rude.

Piper (to Phoebe about Leslie): Why don't you just marry him already? Phoebe: Well, why don't you just marry Leo! Piper: Because I already did!

Grams: Piper, far be it for me to meddle but... Piper: Then don't.

Phoebe: Something happened after we summoned Grams. Piper: What!? Why? Why did you summon Grams?

Phoebe (about Wyatt): He's just having a hard time right now. His dad is never around, his baby brother is getting all the attention, he's constantly being chased by the Underworld...you know. Grams Well, I'm afraid he's just going to have to get used to it. Phoebe: He's two.

Paige: Hear me now, hear my cry, spirit from the other side, cross now the great divide. Grams appears with her back turned in a swirl of bright lights. Apparently she was in the middle of a conversation. Grams: You mean she is still lying about her age? Um... wh... (she turns to face the girls.) Not a good time, girls. I'm busy. Paige: You're dead. Grams: Well, it doesn't mean I can't have a life.

Piper (to Grams and Victor): You know, I don't understand why you guys have to be so mean to Leo, you know. In case you haven't heard, he's kind of going through a hard time right about now. I mean, geez!

Grams: Do you remember the first time you were this age, when I sat you and your sisters down and we had the talk? Piper: Grams, I already know all about sex, and no offence but I don't want to talk about it with you because that's really gross. Grams: No, not the sex talk, silly. The witch talk. Piper: So what did you tell us? Grams: That my being a witch was such an important part of my life and what it meant to me, and what it might mean to you someday. Piper: Did you tell us that Prue and mom were gonna die? That Leo was gonna lose his marbles? Or that demons were gonna be chasing after us all the time everywhere?

Grams: Oh hi sweetie how are you? Piper: Don't you sweetie me, where are the boys?!

Victor: Don't want me looking up the old boyfriends huh? Grams: They were in a much bigger book, thank you.

Wyatt orbs Chris' blanket to himself. Paige: I saw that Wyatt, now you give that back to your little brother while I find out who's trying to kill you.

Seer: See I have a problem, you kinda have a temper, and if I don't tell you, well you'll probably choke me to death, and if I do tell you and you don't like the answer, well, then, you'll probably choke me to death.

Leo: It's not your fault Wyatt. None of this is. I'm the reason things are so messed up. You and Chris and Mommy mean the world to me. You're what keeps me going.

Phoebe: Mommy! I met this boy and he's really, really cute! Patty: We'll talk about the boy later.

Victor (about Grams): She always was a bad loser.

Paige (to Ben): I'll dream about you.

Victor: Are you okay? Patty: Yeah, it's just leaving is always the hardest part. Victor: Well, maybe I shouldn't have.. Patty: No, no, I'm glad you did. I wanted to be here for this, for them. It's just hard, you know? Price I pay for being dead, I guess. We missed a lot, not being able to raise them together. Victor: I know, but we made up for it a little bit today, didn't we? Patty: Yeah. Piper: Alright already, break it up. Kids entering. Paige: Grams, are you coming down? Phoebe: Ugh, she's being a martyr. Paige: Grams, please. Piper: Last call, woman. Grams: Oh, very well. (Grams appears) Just so we're clear, my way would've worked too. Nevertheless you're all forgiven, except Leo. Leo: Why not me? Grams: Because I owe you the apology. I'm sorry I thought you were evil, not that you could blame me. Leo: That's an apology? Victor: I'd take it if I were you.

Piper: Phoebe and Leslie, sittin in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g.

Victor: Why is my daughter a statue? Grams: She'll be fine. She'll thaw out in a minute.

Piper: How's about that damn spell? How's that sound?

Paige: Wyatt, where did you orb your little brother?