Charmed Season 5 Episode 9

Piper (about Trevor, right after Paige dumped him): I really thought that one was a keeper.
Phoebe: Why, because he was cute and funny and… oh, yeah, don't let me forget deliciously yummy?

Piper: So wait a minute. If The Elders have lost track of him, why do they suddenly think Paige can find him?
Leo: Well, The Elders have complete faith in Paige's abilities. So do I. All we have to do is trust that they know what they're doing.
Piper: How are you supposed to trust people that don't answer your questions?

Paige: Phoebe, Being that I'm also a whitelighter, I just want to warn you that maybe, you know, you shouldn't jump to conclusions and you should have all the facts before you act.
Phoebe (pauses for a moment): Actually, you're right.
Paige (to herself): I am good this.

Phoebe: Back to your old self again, huh?
Cole: Get outta here.
Phoebe: Did you kill two people last night?
Cole: I don't have time for this.
Phoebe: Well, you better make time for this.
Cole: I can't be good. I won't be evil. What do you want from me?
Phoebe: I want an answer.
Cole: Yes, I killed those two criminals. And you wanna know something else? It was easy. It felt very natural. Is that what you wanted to hear?
Phoebe: You just don't get it, do you? They weren't only two criminals, they were two human beings, Cole.
Cole: Spare me the judgmental crap. You have no idea what I'm going through right now.
Phoebe: No, I don't. And I don't wanna know.
Cole: Then why are you still here?
Phoebe: I'm here to warn you. If you kill another person, good or evil, I will vanquish you.
Cole (as Phoebe heads back to the elevator): You really think you have the power to vanquish me?
Phoebe (as she presses the doors closed): Try me.
Cole (to himself): I might just do that.

Sam: A little advice: You need to work up the cover. Didn't you read the whitelighter manual?
Paige: There's a manual?
Sam: I can't believe The Elders sent a Newbie out after me.
Paige: Well, I can't believe The Elders saddled me with a cranky old drunk as my first charge!

Sam: Look at you, of all people, defending The Elders.
Piper: Hey, they may not be on my Christmas list, but that doesn't mean they don't usually have a good reason for doing the things that they do.
Sam: Like telling you you couldn't marry Leo?
Piper: I said "usually".

(After Paige kept pressuring Phoebe to know Sam's identity)
Phoebe: Ok. You really wanna know?
Paige: Yeah!
Phoebe: Sam was…Mom's whitelighter.
Paige: That would make him…
Phoebe: Your biological father.
(Paige is stunned, she scoffs)
Phoebe: Oh, honey, are you ok?
Paige: Great. I'm just great.

Piper: Where is your hitman?
Cole: Oh, you know those darklighters. They're just so difficult to work with.

Elfin Nanny: Am I expected to protect the baby from the incessant demon attacks?
Piper: I'd say incessant is a bit of an overstatement.
Elfin Nanny: You are a Charmed One, correct?
Piper: Yes…but that won't affect your job here.
Leo: Won't it?
Piper: No, honey, it won't. Whitelighters, they're such pessimists.

(Sam gets hit by a darklighter)
Phoebe: Okay everybody with whitelighter blood stand back.
(Piper, Leo, and Paige all step back)

Phoebe: Last night, two guys held up a bar and a vigilante killed them.
Paige: Sounds more like you need an arrest warrant, not a potion.
Phoebe: Not when the vigilante is tall, dark and handsome and can send people flying with the wave of a hand.
Piper: Well, that doesn't mean it's Cole.
Phoebe: Did I forget to mention the scorch marks?
Piper: That means it's Cole.

Phoebe: Don't you think it's a little early for you to be looking for nannies? I mean, you're not even showing yet. Except for your boobies.
Piper: I'm telling you, they are large and they are definitely in charge. But at least something is normal about this pregnancy.

Piper (to Phoebe): Is that who I think it is?
Phoebe: Mom's whitelighter.
Piper: And Paige's father.

Paige: The Elders sent me to protect someone without telling me who he was.
Piper: I'd say that's a bit of an understatement.

Phoebe (about Cole): I want him dead. I want this over with. And if this doesn't work, we might not get a second chance.
Piper: Got it. Kill him. Dead.

Paige (to Leo): If this is where I was supposed to find my charge, you might have told me not to wear my Jimmy Choos.

Paige: I am now Paige Matthews, whitelighter-witch... I'm a hyphenate.

Piper: I gotta go home cuz I gotta interview magical nannies tomorrow and I gotta prepare.
Phoebe: Magical nannies...you mean like Mary Poppins?

Leo: Yeah, well the Elders aren't exactly known for their sense of humor.