Charmed

(After Phoebe and Piper promise not to laugh at Prue's situation being a man) Prue/Manny: ...I have hair in really strange places, I have a penis! (Phoebe can't hold a laugh in, and Prue storms back into the bathroom) Piper: (Angrily to Phoebe) What is wrong with you?!

Morris: Wanna me to release him? Your friend punched a cop. Phoebe: Four men have died in last four nights, but none so far tonight. Why do you think that is? Piper: Because of Manny, that's why. Phoebe: And if he stays in jail, another innocent man might get killed. Morris: I suppose you want me to release this, uh... this Dr. Owen Grant, too, huh? Phoebe: Uh, no, actually. He's still a potential victim. As long as he's here, he's safe. You can't let him out. Morris: This is going to bite me in the ass. I know it is.

Manny/Prue: You know, I think that it's the smaller things that I look for in a relationship, you know, like... listen to your partner, kindness, respect, I mean, as far as I'm concerned there's nothing sexier, nothing hotter than someone who respects him... herself, because, you know, if she respects herself, then she respects others. Jan: Can I just say that you are really in touch with your feminine side. Manny/Prue: You have no idea

Dan: So, Piper isn't seeing anyone? (Prue tries to copy Dan's moves.) Prue: No, not really. Dan: So Piper is seeing someone? Manny/Prue: No, not really...God. I would just hate to see her with a guy who, oh, lets say on the third date just runs away. Don't you just hate men like that? Dan: I don't know any men like that. Manny/Prue: Oh... ha... How about those "niners"? (Piper and Phoebe walks in) Piper: Ok, here's your ice. Dan: Thanks. Phoebe: Oh, you're welcome. Ok, bye bye. Take care. Tell Jenny we said "hi", ok? All right, good. (He leaves) Piper: So? Manny/Prue: We're in big problems.... huge.

Piper: What happened? Phoebe: Oh, I just... I had one of those hot flashes, the Succubus visions. Piper, I think I really am psychically connected to that thing. I see what she sees, feel what she feels. I felt excited. Piper: Excited happy or excited aroused? Phoebe: Piper, she's in heat, okay. And so am I. Piper: Well, that explains why you are burning up. Your libido must be connected to the succubus' Phoebe: Yeah, it's like I have no control over. (She gets a new flash.) Phoebe: It just happened again. I saw egg sacs. Oh my God. I think she's pregnant or ready to hatch. Piper: You mean, there's gonna be a whole brood of them killing men? Phoebe: Unless we stop her, I think that's exactly her plan.

Prue: "By the forces of heaven and hell, draw to us this woman fell, rend from her foul desire, that she may perish as a moth of fire". (Fire burns around Piper.) Piper: See? I knew it wasn't you. Phoebe: I didn't burn. I'm okay. Prue: (with a man's voice) I'm not. (They turn and see Prue as a man.) Phoebe, Piper: Oh!! Oh my God. Piper: I don't believe it. Prue: We have a new problem.

Phoebe: Oh... oh. Owen: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Phoebe: I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't see you. Owen: Oh.. it's not a problem... it's not a problem at all. Phoebe: Uh... uh... do you work here? Owen: No, actually I just, uh, I just signed up. (She laughs.) Phoebe: Really? Owen: Yeah. Phoebe: I mean, it's just that... you don't seem like the type that needs help finding date. Owen: Ditto. Oh, um, I'm Owen. Owen Grant. Phoebe: Phoebe . (As she touches his hand, she gets a premonition of him been killed.) Phoebe: Uh, uh... I have to... I have to go. Okay, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Owen: But, Phoebe. Phoebe: Sorry.

Darla: Hi, welcome to Fine Romance. I'm Darla. How can I help you? Phoebe: My sister Prue would like to sign up. Prue: I would? Phoebe: Yes you would while I look around. Prue: Right. (Phoebe walks away from her.) Darla: Well, Prue, today is your lucky day. Because we are running a special. One year, unlimited access to our internet and video library, with a money-back guarantee, for only $3,500. Prue: 3,500 bucks? Okay, I could buy a man for that. Darla: Oh, I can always tell the frustrated ones. You've been having man troubles lately, haven't you?

Smith: Oh, man. Look the racks on those babes, huh? Morris: Just do your job, Smith, okay? Smith: I am doing my job, Morris. I'm taking pictures of potential suspects. And if you ask me, those two suspects got a lot of potential.

Guy: I can't believe we're doing this. You've gotta be the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. Either I'm dreaming or I'm falling in love. Oh, man, I'm definitely falling in love. Where have you been my entire life. You're irresistible. (As he says that, the woman's tongue goes down the man's mouth. Phoebe awakes and she screams.)

Phoebe: Oh, I cannot believe this heat wave. It's 2 a.m. How can it be so hot when there's no sun. Piper: Tell me about it. (Phoebe gets an ice cube and rubs it it on her neck.) The Cranberries are playing an animal right benefit here on Saturday and it's gonna be a million degrees in here. (Piper notices Phoebe with the ice.) Uh, Phoebe... you keep making like you're on red shoes diaries and I'm gonna have to bust out a can of man repellent. (Two guys are staring at Phoebe.) All right, people, move a long. Nothing to see here. Goodness. Am I going to have to hose you down? Phoebe: I can't help it. It's not my fault. I'm in a highly excited state right now. Not that I'd mind being hosed down with water. I feel like I'm on fire. Feel my forehead. (Piper touches Phoebe's forehead.)

Piper: Sweet dreams, don't kill anyone

(Talking with Phoebe and Piper about releasing Manny/Prue) Darryl: This is going to bite me in the ass, I know it is!

Piper (to Prue): Looks like you learned a few things about being a woman by being a man!

Phoebe: Whoa, well, and I thought the heat wave was over. Piper: Yeah, Prue, you look hot!

Darla: Congratulations, Prue. Your days of having trouble with men are over. See you at tonight's mixer? Prue: Okay, you know, for your information, I do not have man troubles. Financial ones, now, yes. But definitely not man troubles. (Phoebe walks in) Phoebe: We're out of here. Prue: She... you. Phoebe: Okay.. it's okay... it's all right. Prue: I don't. Honestly. (to Phoebe) Tell her. Phoebe (half listening): She doesn't!

Piper: All you have to do is visualize a man that you admire and then emulate him, you know. The walk will follow. Manny/Prue: A man that I admire. All right, I got that. (Prue experiments with walking like a man and then does a girlie turn at the end) Piper: The man you admire is Richard Simmons?

Manny/Prue and Phoebe look out a window and see Dan. Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Nice body, great tan. Manny/Prue: Awesome truck.

Piper: When they say 'I'll call you', that's the kiss of death.

Piper starts fanning Phoebe with a piece of paper. Phoebe: But this... this is different. This feels real. Swank penthouse love den, candles, satin sheets... Piper starts fanning herself. Piper: Okey dokey. I get the point.

Piper: Uh, Phoebe... you keep making like you're on "Red Shoe Diaries" and I'm gonna have to bust out a can of man repellent.

Phoebe: Um, did Manny just check out that girl's butt? Piper: Oh, god. This is starting to get weird. Phoebe: It's starting to get weird? Where ya been?

Prue/Manny: You know, I'm surprised we men ever get anything done. You know, all I seem to think about is sex. It's...it's like nonstop. Really debilitating.

Piper: You wanna know how to be a real man? Look at Dan. Honest, kind, good heart. The type of guy who'd risk being late to work just to make you smile. Not some bully who walks around thinking one punch is gonna change anything. Prue: She learned all that just from looking out a window?