Charmed

(Barbas and the demon Stimple are trapped on a ledge at the mouth of hell, where they've been banished.) Stimple: So the witches are going to do what you want? Barbas: In time. Oh, the Charmed Ones are not your ordinary witches. Stimple: Yeah, I know, I know, it's just, how much time? You've been working on them for weeks. I don't mean to rush you or anything but I'm really hot, like all the time!

Stimple: Barbas, please, I beg you. Forget the witches, you can deal with them later. Barbas: The witches may be able to avoid their fears, but they will not be able to avoid my new power. Stimple: Now listen to me, the demonic leadership is backing you. The Underworld is yours for the taking. Barbas: I do not care about the Underworld, I care only about my revenge! Oh, and in regards to that, I need you to hurl a fireball at me. Stimple: What? Barbas: I need to test my new power. Stimple: I don't… Barbas: Do it. (Stimple throws a fireball, which Barbas reflects back at Stimple, vanquishing him.) Finally, he shut up.

(Barbas brings to life a memory from Piper's birthday when she was a little girl.) Victor: If my girls are raised around this it'll destroy their lives. Grams: Oh, don't be overdramatic. Victor: A demon tries to kill my daughter and I'm being overdramatic?

(After Phoebe beat up Paige thinking she was Barbas, Paige is lying on the floor in pain, but Phoebe is still seeing him) Barbas: Come on. Finish it. Please. You can do it. I know you can. Come on, kill me. (She looks around and finds an athame. She grabs it and stabs Barbas in the abdomen. When he morphs into Paige, Phoebe is shocked and starts to break out in tears.)

(While Paige and Piper are having their own hallucinations, it's Phoebe's turn. And she gets her share when Miles appears.) Miles: Phoebe. Phoebe: Yeah? Miles: I had to talk to you. I had to tell you the truth. (Miles' eyes glow an evil, demonic yellow) Phoebe (to herself): This isn't real. This isn't happening. Miles: I'm evil Phoebe. You know that's why you're drawn to me. (Phoebe reaches back and throws a punch right on Miles' chin. He shimmers out.) Phoebe: Ok, people, time to get over our fears right now! Piper: Easy for you to say. You're not facing killer spiders! Phoebe: Neither are you.

(After Barbas trapped the sisters in their own house, Paige begins to hallucinate. She hears rumbling. She turns and steps into the nursery.) Paige: Guys? Phoebe: What's the matter? Paige: Don't you see it? (she looks at the nursery walls and is amazed to see them moving toward her) The walls are moving in on me. (Not wanting to stay too long, she turns around only to find the nursery door closed in front of her face) Hey! (Piper and Phoebe watch as Paige faces the open door and struggles to get out) Paige: Help! Get me out of here! Piper: Is she claustrophobic? Phoebe: I don't know. Is she?

(After Paige's failed attempt to get through the brick wall) Piper: Well, I can get out. (She takes a few steps to the brick wall) Phoebe (encouraging): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. (Piper blasts the brick wall and a small explosion occurs, but doesn't affect it) Piper: I can't get out. (turns around to Phoebe and Paige while beginning to panic) We can't get out!

(After Barbas encased the entire house with brick) Phoebe: We're trapped. Paige: Like hell we are. (Determined, she tries to orb out. She turns to orbs and moves to the brick wall, but she bounces off. And like a pinball, she bounces off a wall and another and another. Finally she turns into solid form and lands on the floor, disappointed) Uh. Ok. On second thought…

Barbas: I know your fears. Phoebe: Really? You sure about that? (Barbas raises his hand as if reading it. Nothing happens) Phoebe (mocking, with exaggerated gasp): What's the matter? Lost your touch? (She turns around to the demon leaders behind her) And you want this guy to be your new leader? Tsh.

Paige: Apparently saying "I'm sorry" a hundred and twelve times didn't work, maybe a hundred and thirteen… I am sorry. Phoebe: Paige, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. It's just, you know, you pulled me away from my third date with Miles. I had a third date. Paige: A hundred and fourteen! I'm sorry.

Piper: It's the story of my life. When everything is going great, something inevitably happens that will ruin it. Paige: A little spider did all that to you… Piper: Oh. You just wait. You will see. (Cole shimmers in, apparently scared) Cole: Please, you gotta help me. Piper (to Paige, pointing at him): See?!

Phoebe: Paige, orb the potion. Paige: It's in a puddle. Piper: You can do it, Prue did. Barbas: Ay, there's the rub. You're no Prue, are you?

Paige: Oh, the elders don't know anything, what a shock!

Paige: Okay, sixteenth time is the charm. (Throws something into a cauldron, but it just makes an explosion and some feathers fly out) Damn it. Leo: What's going on Paige? Paige: Just trying to conjure up some doves. Leo: Oh. Down here in front of all the windows huh?

Phoebe is holding Paige in a big bear hug right after Leo heals her. Phoebe: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Paige: You're suffocating me. Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry. Phoebe lets go long enough for the two of them to stand up. She then wraps her arms back around Paige.

Piper (to Barbas): Playing on an expectant mother's fears. That was a good one. But not that good.

Phoebe (to Barbas): It's, uhh, pretty hard to rule the Underworld if you kill everybody, don't you think?

Barbas: Very smart, operating above ground. It's like hiding in plain sight.

Paige: I really don't need a lecture right now. Piper: No you really do, because you have no idea what you've done, and now we have a serious problem. Leo: Guys. Leo heals Cole. Piper: Great. He's not evil, but we still have a serious problem.

Leo: As your whitelighter, I would say go with your instincts. Paige (very happy to hear that): Okay. Leo: But as your brother-in-law, going up against your sisters is pure suicide. Paige: Great. You really helped clarify this issue.

Piper: We don't need to go looking for trouble. Trouble comes to find us anyway.

Paige (to Piper): What is wrong with you? Is this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Piper? Make up your mind, lady.

Piper: Desperate demons call for desperate measures.

Paige: What does this Barbas do? What's his thing? Phoebe: He brings really bad things to life.

Piper: Hi! I am off to yoga and then to the salon for a manicure and pedicure. There's a cherry pie cooling on the counter and I will be on my cell. Paige: Uh uh. Prenatal police lady. Put the mug down, step away from the coffee.

Miles: Hey, how long were you married? Phoebe: Not long, but we were together for two years. The beginning was great it's just the end was uh...hell. Miles: Yeah, I had the same experience with my ex. Phoebe: Uh, no pretty sure you didn't. Well you know 'cause you know every situation is so different.