Sam: Without my hair I'd just be one of you guys.
Sam: What are you up to Norm?
Norm: My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
Woody: I wish Sam would hurry back from Gary's. I'm at my wit's end here.
Carla: How can you tell?
Sam: Can I fill up your beer for you, Norm?
Norm: No, thanks. Not quite finished with this one. (Everything comes to a halt and stares at Norm) I'm full.
Norm: Hey Cliffie, does your beer taste a little flat today?
Norm: I don't know. It seems like it's off maybe a hop or two.
Woody: Gary's just playing with us, like a rat and mouse.
Sam: That's cat and mouse, Woody.
Woody: Sam, a cat and mouse don't play together. They're mortal enemies. They don't even know the same games. Think before you speak, Sam.
Cliff: Woody, why don't you open the door and see what evil Gary has done to the outside.
Woody: Snow...Gary made it snow!!
Carla: Gary didn't make it snow, grain brain.
Woody: Thats a good thing, cause we'd never be able to top that.
Woody: I stand there for one night and you think that I'm stupid. Tecumseh stands there for years and you rub him for luck. Who's the stupid one, Carla?
Woody: Carla, how come we can't tell Ms. Howe what Sam's doing to Gary?
Carla: You know her. She thinks that anything that destroys property, costs money or wastes time is stupid. I don't know, she's got an attitude problem.
Woody: Yeah. What is with her?
Rebecca: I said, we gotta cool it because this stuff is ruining our business. And he agreed. So, we drew up this little document to that effect: "We, the managers of Cheers and Gary's Old Towne Tavern, do solemnly swear to cut it out."
Frasier: That ought to hold up in court.
Lilith: Hello, duckling.
Woody: Hey, Dr. Crane. Mrs. Dr. Crane. You guys are here on your night off, huh?
Lilith: You have a marvelous grasp of the obvious.
Woody: Well, that's what comes from working with your hands.
Rebecca: I don't understand why you guys think it is so cool to play these stupid, practical jokes.
Sam: Honey, it's what keeps the child in us alive. Otherwise, we'd be just mature adults.
Rebecca: Yeah. I'd lie awake at night worrying about that one.
Rebecca: I want you to call Gary, right now, and apologize before he gets the idea of getting even and blows us to bits with an all-in-good-fun toilet explosion.
Woody: (To Carla) You're right, there's that attitude.
This episode was filmed on February 20, 1990.
When Sam asks Frasier if his parents could babysit Frederick, Frasier says "I could ask my parents...of course they're dead." But of course later on the producers would go on to resurrect Frasier's father for the spin-off Frasier.