Cheers

Carla: Frankie's sweet. One day he's gonna meet a nice girl and settle down. In the mean time it's my job to keep him away from sleazy women looking for a quick one nighter. Lilith: You mean women like you. Carla: Ironic, huh?

Norm: When was the last time you guys cried? Cliffie? Cliff: I guess I'll say my junior prom. Norm: No no no. This is not that story where you got stood up and you had to take your ma and everyone laughed at you and pants you, is it? Cliff: No, I said junior prom. You see ma was putting on a boutonniere. The pin stuck me in the chest and I got a staph infection. Norm: How about you Frase? Frasier: Well the day we left for this trip my son gave me a picture. Cliff: You cried? Frasier: I cried because it was so beautiful. Cliff: Good luck finding that hairy man. Frasier: Well at least I can get pricked by a pin and not almost die.

Frasier: So how far have we gone? Sam: Oh about 100 miles. Cliff: It's minus 38. Frasier: Why minus 38? Cliff: My trip meter only sets back to 38. Sam: Let's see, what's 100 minus 28? Norm: Why don't we just drive 38 more miles then we'll know we hit 100.

Cliff: What do you say, Norm? For of us toolin' down old mother road, getting in touch with the old hairy man mobile. Norm: I don't know. I don't think I can handle sitting still for six hours a day. Cliff: It might be more like 20. Norm: Oh then I'm in.

Sam: You know if we drive to California we could go see Disneyland. Frasier: Oooo. Lilith: Perhaps you could find your manhood on the giant teacups.

Rebecca: Oh shoot. It's a minus. I'm not pregnant. Well we only started trying last night. I guess we can't expect to get pregnant the first time. Sam: I thought that's what the fourth and fifth times were for. Norm: Fifth time? Imagine that. Cliff: I'm only up to three.