Cliff (trying to scratch a bikini off a card): There's something wrong here. I can't get the bikini off my girl.
Norm: Story of your life, big guy.
Coach: If you put a gun to my head I can't remember the last time I was in an all-night poker game.
Diane: I'll let you know when I was in high school I was voted the girl most likely to marry into old money.
Sam: Hey hey hey. Wow, you're drunk.
Diane: Wow, you're stupid. I'll be sober in the morning.
Sam (standing outside of Diane's apartment): Come on Diane, I know you're up. Your candles are on.
Diane: When I and everyone else in the world say I love you we are opening up the very core of our being. When you say it you're just clearing your throat.
Diane: They belonged to two young men in the bar but after I was finished waiting on them...
Carla: They were two old men.
Diane: They succumbed to my charms.
Carla: Oh, they were two blind men.
Harry: No one's ever given me anything voluntarily.
Diane (happily): Sam can't say he loves me!
Carla: Who can?
Diane is singing "Just Like A Woman" by Bob Dylan before Sam arrives at her apartment.