Diane: Norman, may I talk to you for a minute?
Norm: Yeah, sure. What's up?
Diane: You make me sick. You're a quitter, Norman! No, you're worse than that, you're a non-starter. You don't even try. You sit around the bar all day, you sit around your house all day, you sit around here all day, you sit around life all day! How are you going to feel at the end of your life when you're lying-no, make that sitting, on your death bed and you realize the only thing you've done in your life was sit around, and watch people do things, make things out of their lives? Well, maybe you're right, Norman. Maybe you're not meant for success, maybe you're meant for exactly what you are-nothing.
Norm: Diane, you have no right to say that to me.
Diane: Oh, Norman, I only said those things because I care about you.
Norm: You must care an awful lot about me.
Diane: Yes, I do. We all do. We're your friends, Norman, and we're all tired of seeing you give up so easily.
Norm: I want to be a bench warmer. The world needs bench warmers. I mean if there were no bench warmers what would we have? We'd have cold benches, a lot of cold benches and the world does not need that, Diane.
Sam: Boy look at you. You look like the cat who swallowed the canary.
Norm: Give me a beer to wash him down.
Norm: Don't you guys think about calling first?
Carla: We couldn't find a phone booth until now.
Carla: I got another one of those carpet shocks.
Diane: Carla, if you walked like a lady that wouldn't happen.
Carla: If I walked like a lady nothin' would happen.
Carla: Where's Woody? I hope he's not lost.
Frasier: Gee what are the odds?
Norm: I've got free reign over there. I am my own boss.
Carla: So that's how you got the job.
Woody: Hey Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?
Norm: See you later, Vera. I'll be at Cheers.
Diane: Sweetheart, we're going to have to decide where we're going for our honeymoon. Where do you want to go?
Sam: Well I don't know. Where do you want to go?
Diane: I told you where I want to go, Tibet.
Sam: Well it's our honeymoon of course we're going to bed.
Sam: There's plenty of mysteries to discover in Disneyland
Diane: Like what?
Sam: Well, like why Mickey wears a bottom and no top, whereas Donald wears a top and no bottom
Cliff: Well, Sammy, it's because that ducks' privates are covered by their feathers and mice, need I say more...
Frasier: And why is it we've never seen Donald fly? I mean, I've seen that damn duck do karaoke!
Carla: And if Mickey's dating Minnie, why does he have such a high voice?
Sam: Wait a minute are you trying to say that Mickey's....
Diane: Okay! Okay! We'll go!!!
Cliff: Okay, if this is yours, then tell me the serial number
Cliff: That's amazing.
Sam: You memorize the serial number on all your money? Why?
Woody: For just such an occasion. Tell you though, I pray every day I don't get rich.
(After Thompkins steals Norm's proposal to the Board of Directors.)
Diane: Now now, Norman, you can't let this phase you, all right? You have to keep pushing. I know that this idea didn't succeed, but others will.
Norm: No no, Diane. Look, a few minutes ago, I almost made the biggest mistake of my professional life and it was because I was doing something that just wasn't me. I am not a go-getter, I've never been a go-getter, what's more, I don't even want to be a go-getter. I'm very happy right where I am. I'm so sick of all these people saying "Peterson, you gotta push", "You gotta get ahead", "You gotta make that goal". I don't even want to make the goal, Diane. I want to be a bench warmer. The world needs bench warmers. If there were no bench warmers, what would we have? Cold benches. A lot of cold benches and the world does not need that. You know something, I'm very happy with being an anonymus cog in this field of work.
Diane: Norman, I've never seen you so impassioned like this before.
Norm: That's because I believe in this, Diane. I'll tell you something else, Norm Peterson may be a motionless lump, but he's a damn good one.
Norm: I feel really nervous about putting my butt on the line.
Carla: How do you think the line feels?
Cliff: (on finding a $20 bill)...and to celebrate my good fortune I'm going to buy a round of drinks for all my friends.
Carla: What are you going to do with the other nineteen bucks?
User Score: 1380
User Score: 1284
User Score: 371
User Score: 320
User Score: 185
User Score: 138
User Score: 131
User Score: 120
User Score: 92
User Score: 69
User Score: 60
User Score: 42
User Score: 35
User Score: 33
User Score: 30
User Score: 23
User Score: 22
User Score: 21
User Score: 19
User Score: 18