(Diane wants Sam to help her lie to Stuart about her true feelings)
Sam: Here's what you do. You tell him that you have a contagious skin condition and that insanity runs in your family.
Diane: Very sensitive.
Sam: Well, thank you. It's a, it's a gift.
Diane: Sam, I have never been more grateful to you than I am now. I just looked into the face of insensitivity and dishonesty and it made me blanch. I am going out there and I'm going to break up with Stuart; but I'm going to do it honestly, straightforwardly and yet caringly. I'll tell him the truth of my feelings: that I'm not attracted to him romantically, although I'm very attracted to him as a friend. And I'll say it in a way that, that he will accept and understand and be grateful for. Do you even begin to understand what I'm trying to say?
Sam: Everything except the part where you change your name to "Blanche."