Carla Lozupone Tortelli LeBec
Hilary Norman "Norm" Peterson
Sam "Mayday" Malone
Clifford C "Cliff" Clavin, Jr
Woodrow Tiberius "Woody" Boyd
This is the first episode that someone who isn't a Cheers employee sets up Norm's entrance-scene one-liner. It's also the first person who isn't a regular cast member to do so. Recurring character Paul Krapence (Paul Willson) sets up Norm's entrance joke.
Norm: Hey, everybody.
There is silence. Everyone is mad at Norm for being rich when they aren't. Norm carries on both sides of the conversation himself.
Norm: Norm! (Norman.) How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson? Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer.
Diane: Sam, may I have your ear for a moment?
Sam: Yeah, just don't leave any bite marks.
Diane: Frasier, a sunburn?
Frasier: No, I'm doing my impression of a blood blister.
Diane: Well I guess I'm feeling especially girlish.
Woody: How come, Ms. Chambers?
Sam: No no no.
Diane: You know, Woody, the usual thing that puts a bounce in a girl's step.
Woody: Ah. Support hose.
Sam: You wore your socks in the tanning booth?
Cliff: Well I've got to be careful, Sammy. The Clavin men have feet like a baby's bottom.
Carla: With faces to match.
Carla: You know, Diane, you shouldn't be investing in a tanning salon. You ought to be using one. You got skin the color of Elmer's Glue.
Norm: Thank you, God.
Cliff: What's that, Normy? A research grant from the National Beer Foundation.
Diane: Sam, I must be frank.
Sam: Sounds good. I'll be Bob.
Diane: It's the harbinger of good fortune!
Carla: Yeah! You said it, bone-butt!
Norm: When I think of all the hours I wasted in here when I could have been wasting them somewhere else.
Cliff: It's lonely at the top.
Norm: Yeah, but the food's better.
Norm: It's not who you know, it's who I know.
Diane: Would you mind if his sweet lips touched mine?
Sam: Touched your what?
Everyone rushes outside to celebrate the success of the Tan N' Wash:
Carla: Last one out's a Clavin!
Diane: Oh, why am I always the Clavin?
Discussing crazy dreams:
Woody: Well, how about the one where you go to this fancy restaurant, and before they let you in they make you leave your legs at the door. And the girl gives you claim check number six, so you go in, but instead of food, everyone's eating their silverware. Only you can't really enjoy your fork cause you're so worried that whoever got claim check number nine might finish first and pick up your legs by mistake.
Paul: Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.
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