Norm: Boy, next to Sammy's life my life sure looks dull, doesn't it? Next to a barnacle my life seems dull.
Sam: Cliffie, telephone.
Carla: Somebody wants to talk you Cliff?
Norm: Cliffie, this is the first bud. I don't think anyone's ever called you here before.
Diane: (to Sam) Well you're just bubbling with energy. Oh you must've mastered the childproof cap on your Flintstones vitamins.
(Cliff's dad, on the run from the law, leaves secretly)
Norm: What do you supposed happened to him?
Cliff: It's obvious, isn't it? My father didn't trust me so he gave me the slip out of the bathroom window. I guess I'll, uh, just go home. (dejected, he starts to leave)
Carla: But, you're ruling out the other possibility.
Cliff: What other possibility?
Carla: Well, it's a little known fact, but more and more people have been going into men's rooms and vaporizing. I mean just disappearing into thin air. It's an unexplained phenomenon.
Norm: It's kinda like, uh, the Bermuda Triangle.
Carla: That's right.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get serious, will you.
Carla: Have it your way.
Cliff: (recovers his positive, "Clavin" attitude) Well, you know, however, uh, this much is true: you know, uh, it's been recent sightings of, uh, human beings being, uh, shot up into the underbelly of alien spacecraft. You know, and speaking of the Bermuda Triangle... it's not technically a triangle.
Woody: It's not?
Cliff: Heck no! It's a "trapazedarhomboid". Perfect for, uh, attracting Martian spacecraft.
(Norm enters the bar)
Woody: What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer.
Woody: So, how was the Hungry Heifer?
Norm: Aw, it wasn't too good.
Woody: Oh, well, what'd you have?
Norm: Well, I got the chef's special ribs.
Woody: Oh, well, that sounds pretty good.
Norm: Yeah, that's what I thought; but the chef just came out and made fun of my tie.
[Diane and Sam are discussing his date for the night]
Sam: Claudia's been a tough nut to crack. But tonight's the night. She's gonna be enjoying all the rides in "Sammy's Magic Kingdom".
Diane: She's in for a "Mickey Mouse" evening with "Goofy" as her guide.
[Claudia dumps Sam; he thinks Diane caused it]
Sam: Why don't you just admit that you're nuts about me and you can't stand seeing me going out with other women, so you tried to eliminate the competition?
Diane: Sam... your hormones have staged a "coup d'etat" on your brain.
Sam: Ah, no, no. Don't, don't try to distract me with hormone talk.
Cliff is named after his father, who is Cliff Clavin, Sr.
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