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Timmy: I've always wanted to be a Sam Malone.
Sam: You wanna be a ball player?
Timmy: No, I wanna be a babe hound.
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Carla: Why don't you give the guy a break?
Rebecca: Why should I?
Carla: because if you don't then I have to bring up that think I happen to know about.
Rebecca: What thing?
Carla: That very personal thing I happened to over hear. You know what I'm talking about. That thing that if it ever got out you don't be able to show your face around here again.
Rebecca: (to Sam) What is it you want me to do?
Norm: Carla, that's amazing. What have you got on her?
Carla: Nothin'. I bluffed and she crumbled.
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Rebecca: Why would I want to help Sam get back his great big book of bimbos?
Carla: Because you're the next great big bimbo he's gonna call.
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Sam's black book is missing
Sam: Are you sure that one of you guys didn't just pick it up and browse through it? I'm not going to be mad at you.
Norm: Sam, trusting the book with us is like trusting the H bomb with a pack of spider monkeys.
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Woody: Wait a second, my watch is gone. Oh here it is on my right hand. I took it off my left hand so it wouldn't get wet when I was washing the bar glasses.
Norm: Wood, don't you use both hands when you wash the glasses?
Woody: It's okay. It's waterproof.
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Alex Trebek: Oh I just came in for a drink, he scares me.
Norm: You too?
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Sam: The man's gone through my entire list of babes. First the A's then the B's, all the way through the G's. Where's he gonna strike next?
Frasier: The H's?
Woody: That's good work Dr. Crane, you gotta think like a criminal.
Frasier: Or just someone acquainted with our alphabet.
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Cliff: I'm nothing but a loser. I'm no good for anything
Guy in bar: Oh, that's OK Cliff, we understand.
Cliff: I can't believe I lost on Jeopardy.
Guy in bar: Oh...you were on Jeopardy?