Season 2 Episode 6

Private Lives

Aired Thursday 9:30 AM Oct 20, 1994 on BBC
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Episode Summary

he kitchen staff are having domestic troubles en masse and it's down to Gareth to play agony aunt, if only to get his staff back to work.

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

    • The other couple- with no lines- were Linda and Tony. Yet in the credits, Tony is credited and it was Joe, Lesley's husband, who had lines!

  • QUOTES (12)

    • (Friends emerge to surprise Janice.)
      Janice: Oh my goodness! Lesley! Clean-shaven black lady!
      Lesley: I beg your pardon?!
      The women laugh and hug.

    • Gareth: Isn't Lesley that blonde geezer with a mustache?
      Janice: Close. Very close. Lesley is black, entirely without facial hair, and a woman.

    • Janice: We haven't seen them since our wedding night. You remember our wedding night- it's when you vowed to be celibate with me til death us do part.

    • Janice: Oh, Joe and Lesley phoned.
      Gareth: Oh, good; how are they?
      Janice: Fine.
      Gareth: Wonderful. (pause) Who are Joe and Lesley?

    • Janice: Talking of things I wish we did now and then...(looks over and sees Gareth asleep) (Gareth snores)
      Janice: (disappointed and a little angry) Just a thought.

    • Gordon, Gareth and William: I can't handle this!

    • Janice: (still exhausted) We're fully booked for lunch tomorrow- ninety-six covers.
      Gareth: (still exhausted too) The restaurant only holds ninety.
      Janice: We'll put a table on the terrace.
      Gareth: It's going to rain.
      Janice: How do you know?
      Gareth: You're putting a table on the terrace.

    • Gareth: Everton- Debra's crying and I haven't shouted at her yet.

    • Gareth: (exhausted) What did you get up to?
      Janice: (exhausted too) Invoices, tax returns, VAT.
      Gareth: You little raver.

    • Gareth: Where the astonishingly rude word beginning with the sixth letter of the alphabet have you been?
      Crispin: I'm very sorry Chef.
      Gareth: I find it hard to get staff you know.
      Crispin: Yes, Chef.
      Gareth: People have offered me money, sexual favors, a Blue Peter badge, and, on one memorable occasion, a place at the lowest reaches of the New Year's Honors list just for a job in this kitchen.

    • Gareth: (to a distressed Debra) See, I'm married, so I don't know very much about love and romance.
      Janice: I can certainly vouch for you there.

    • Alphonse: Ah yes; Madame says 'Can you shout at your staff very quietly and ask them not to scream when you hit them?'

  • NOTES (0)


    • Janice: Apparently Crispin's dad makes Warren Beatty seem like Stephen Fry!-- refers first to the American actor/director known for his womanizing past, then the English actor/director who isn't a womanizer.

    • Donald: He's not Dr. Kimble.--referring to the tv show and movie, "The Fugitive", where a doctor was accused of murdering his wife.

    • Janice: He makes Alan Clark look like Cliff Richard.--references first the tough, nihilistic filmmaker and then the 50s and 60s pop star known for love songs.

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