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Awesome: Oh, don't worry about getting me a gift, babe. You already did.
Ellie: I did?
Awesome: Yeah! Yeah. I took it upon myself, since you never know what to get me.
Ellie: That's great! What'd I get you?
Awesome: Weekend skydiving trip with the boys in Crested Butte. Ten thousand foot freefall. Awesome!
Ellie: Great. So, uh, my present to my fiancé is a ticket to death.
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Ned: Chuck, you've been a good friend to me, so I'm gonna return the favor, I'm gonna let your girlfriend go.
Chuck: No.
Ellie: Chuck.
Jeff: Ouch!
Lester: Yikes, you get cold Christmases at the Bartowski's.
Buy More Employee: Oh no, he didn't.
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General Beckman: (looking at the tape on Casey's fingers) Are you okay, Major?
Casey: Oh, er, just paper cuts. I'm on gift wrap station, General.
General Beckman: It's an electronics store, Major, not Basra. Get it under control.
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Sarah: (on the phone to Chuck) Hi, Chuck. Where are you?
Chuck: DVDs. I'm in the Romantic Comedy section. Although for irony's sake, I suppose I should probably be in Hostage Thrillers.
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General Beckman: The suspect's name is Nathan Rhyerson. He is a civilian. No record, not even a speeding ticket in the past 10 years.
Casey: Oh, Nathan picked himself the wrong place to be naughty instead of nice.
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Ned: I don't want to hurt anyone Chuck. So as long as no-one gets brave, no-one gets shot. Okay?
Chuck: Okay. I think we're safe. Yeah. This store has a very strict no bravery policy.
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Sarah: Christmas at the Burton household meant the annual Salvation Army con-job.
Chuck: OK. You're a little different from the rest of us.
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Morgan: Let me ask you something. What do you do when you see your girlfriend do something so horrific, it's permanently burned into your brain?
Chuck: I don't know buddy. But I know exactly what you mean.
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Ned: I, uh... I feel terrible about shooting your friend's toe off.
Chuck: No, no, no, no, that's okay. Sometimes, I feel like shooting him myself.
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Casey: You know, I survived three wars without so much as losing a fingernail before I met you, Bartowski.
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Lester: How much do you think a toe is worth to Casey?
Jeff: Why?
Lester: Maybe there's a finder's fee.
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Ellie: You're gonna be okay, John. A lot of people get by with nine toes.
Jeff: I'm getting by fine with eight.
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Chuck: It's okay everyone. It was a mistake. An accidental shooting, but Casey is gonna be just fine.
Casey: You idiot. You owe me a toe, Bartowski!
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Big Mike: Love the smell of day before Christmas in the morning.
Emmett: There's just nothing quite like the sweet scent of desperate last-minute shoppers in the air.
Big Mike: You jack our prices up 10%?
Emmett: 15. You snooze, you lose.
Big Mike: We're going to rob them blind.
Emmett: Merry Christmas!
Big Mike: Merry Christmas!