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Big Mike: Chuck. John.
Chuck, Casey: Big Mike.
Big Mike: How's customer service training?
Chuck: Super.
Casey: Fine.
Big Mike: Glad to hear it. The better my employees, the less I have to work.
Chuck: Very inspiring words, sir.
Casey: Regular call to arms.
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Chuck: You see, everything changed when I got an e-mail from my old college buddy, Bryce Larkin. You see, Bryce had been working for the CIA when he stole a whole bunch of government secrets. Big, important secrets. Really scary, nasty, you-get-killed-for-having-them secrets. Next thing I know, these super secrets are downloaded into my brain. Which means every moment of my life is in danger.
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Chuck: So, uh, this is the handheld scanner...very expensive piece of equipment.
Casey: So is the stealth fighter, but somehow I managed to fly that.
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Beckman: Our most valuable secrets have been sent to an idiot.
Graham: At least they weren't sent to his friend.
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Chuck: (to Sarah, who's interrogating him) If you're planning on hurting me, even to prove a point, I think you should know I have a very low threshold for pain.
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Sarah: When the images start, just say what they are.
Chuck: That's it?
Casey: I'm sure you'll find a way to screw it up!
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Sarah: I'm sorry I yelled at you.
Chuck: It was our first fight. You know it's a big step if our relationship were remotely real.
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Chuck: Look, I'm not accusing you of anything... today. Yesterday yes, I may have laid it on a little thick with the accusing. But I'm really sorry about that. Instead of not trusting you I should have been thanking you for saving my life and protecting the country and for making really tasty gourmet wieners.
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Ellie: Well, you've moved onto bigger and better girls. I don't really mean bigger like literally bigger... I just really like Sarah. And I hope you guys work things out before the next dinner party, of course.
Chuck: I dunno, sis, I really think I blew it.
Ellie: Look, Chuck, just try apologizing. It goes a long way.
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Chuck: Sarah! Are you okay?
(Sarah's mouth is covered with duct tape)
Chuck: Stupid question.
(rips duct tape off)
Sarah: Chuck, you have to get out of here.
Chuck: No, I'm here to save you!
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Chuck: Casey, he's got Sarah; we've gotta save her!
Casey: Brilliant deduction, Nancy Drew.
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(to Chuck)
Sarah: I never asked you to believe me, I asked you to trust me.
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(after Sarah goes to talk to Chuck in the bathroom)
Captain Awesome: Make up sex... nice.
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Ellie: Chuck! No matter how stressed out you are it is never okay to murder a woman's soufflé!
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Ellie: (about Sarah) Wow, Chuck, wow! I mean, I knew you had it in you... but wow, she's really great.
Chuck: She's... yeah, she's unpredictable.
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Chuck: So, if this whole examination thing works out… then I guess we're through, huh?
Sarah: Uhh yeah, mhmm.
(long pause)
Chuck: Okay. Goodnight
Sarah: Goodnight.
Chuck: Oh and just so you know, tonight was probably the best only second date I've been on in years. (Sarah smiles at him) Drive safe.
-
Chuck: So here we are on our date at the Buy-More. Is this all part of the plan or a chance for me to clock in some overtime?
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(Sarah pulls up in a Porsche)
Sarah: Get in.
Chuck: Wow, Wienerlicious really pays well, huh? What are we, uh-- what are we doing? Going to, uh, like a movie or some dinner?
Sarah: Not exactly.
Chuck: What does not exactly mean... exactly?
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Ellie: I need to meet this girl. Tomorrow night, dinner, here.
Morgan: Whoa, little too early to see the TRON poster don't you think? Not exactly an aphrodisiac.
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Chuck: Hey sis, what do you think of this shirt?
Ellie: Another date with Sarah? This is very exciting.
Chuck: Well, see, it's not that big a deal.
Morgan: Yes it is, I mean, she is hot.
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Chuck: The CIA sent their top agent too. (pause) Oh yeah, I know. Believe me. She told me to trust her, but just like any woman she's got a past. And... she's posing as my girlfriend.
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(Casey just tackled a shoplifter and is about to hit him when Chuck runs up and stops him)
Chuck: Casey, Casey, Casey! No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! It's just a video game, okay?! Lives are not in danger and the country is still safe!
Morgan: Wow. The guy's been here 24 hours and taking the job way more seriously than me.
Chuck: That's because he's crazy.
Casey: Tell me something I don't know.
-
Chuck: Hi, my name is Charles Bartowski, but you can call me Chuck. Those are my shoes, this is my life. Its filled with spies, car chases, computer-stealing ninjas and me saving the day.
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(Lester, Chuck's colleague, wants Chuck to go to repair a Linux-Computer)
Chuck: Why can't you and Jeff go?
Lester: Linux-PCs? We are Mac-guys, Chuck. We are IT-artists!
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Chuck: Oh, I almost forgot, dinner tomorrow night with my sister and her boyfriend Captain Awesome. She really wanted to meet you so...
Sarah: Okay, well that's a good idea.
Chuck: Meeting the family is kind of a big step, if our relationship were remotely real.
-
Sarah: Some people want to be heroes, and other have to be asked. So, Chuck, are you ready?
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Casey: This is how this is gonna work. I'm gonna go over there, rescue Sarah, capture Dr. Zarnow, shoot anybody who gets in my way. You, you're gonna stay here.
Chuck: So in this plan I basically do nothing?
Casey: Yup.
Chuck: Let's do this.