Chuck

Chuck: Something came up. Big Mike: Is that something more important than being assistant manager? Is it more important than handing over your promotion to Tang? (He becomes distraught) Please, Chuck, is it more important than Big Mike's relaxation?!? Chuck: Look, Big Mike, there are just some things in life that are just more important than the Buy More. Big Mike: You mean like fishin' and danish?

Morgan: So what'd (Sarah) say? Chuck: She said... if she were stranded on an island, she would definitely take roast beef! Morgan: No way! Chuck: It's true man! (Shows Casey listening, who rolls his eyes)

Chuck: Do you have any idea how violated I feel right now!?! Casey: You feel violated?!? No, no, no. My ears feel violated, 'cuz they have to listen to you and that moron Morgan yammering on for four hours about what sandwich you're gonna take if you're stranded on a desert island! Chuck: What are you, nuts? Nobody was talking about sandwiches for four hours, come on! (Casey hits the play button on his console) Chuck: (On tape) Think about it: this is a desert island, Morgan. Mayonnaise simply doesn't fare well in the tropics. Morgan: Yeah, but define sandwich, 'cuz technically you could put anything between two slices of bread. For instance, could I bring a Jessica Alba sandwich to said desert island? Chuck: Well, I suppose- (Casey stops the recording) Chuck: Well, I'll have, you know, I stand by my mayonnaise theory.

Chuck: Is that a water gun? Lazlo: No. Chuck: I'm pretty sure it is. It's dripping on my face.

Morgan: What happened, Chuck? You used to be cool. Chuck: I used to be cool? When, when was that? When we were 13? Well, I hate to go changing on you, buddy, but if you hadn't noticed we are now, chronologically speaking, adults. So, unless you want to work retail for the rest of your life and, by the way, drag me down with you in the process, I would suggest that you grow up!

Captain Awesome: (in costume) Yo, Chuckster, guess what I am? Chuck: You're naked? Captain Awesome: I'm Adam. You know, like Adam & Eve, Adam? Wait till you see my snake. Chuck: I don't wa...I don't wanna see your snake.

Chuck: I'm not a salesman. I'm actually part of the nerd herd. Angry Customer: (sarcastically) You must be so proud of yourself. Chuck: (earnestly) I wouldn't go so far as to say proud.

Sarah: (to Chuck) You know, just because you trust people doesn't make you an idiot.

Captain Awesome: There's one thing, being a man -- it's always speaking your mind. Whatever the cost, always be direct, open, and honest. Morgan: When I was twelve I hid under Ellie's bed so I could watch her undress. Captain Awesome: Excellent.

Agent Casey: You! What do I have to do to get timely intel out of you, Bartowski? Chuck: Look, I briefed Sarah last night, alright? Agent Casey: Aww, bet you did, slugger. Chuck: I thought we were all supposed to be part of the same team here, huh? Team Chuck? Agent Casey: We are, but I'm starting to feel like the guy that always gets picked last. I don't like feeling like Team Chuck's little fat kid!