Season 1 Episode 1

Episode #4

Aired Wednesday 9:30 PM May 31, 2000 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • Randal gets his movie ticket money back from George Lucas, Spike Lee, Woody Allen, Joel Shumacher, and Steven Spielburg.

    • Randal can be seen reading "Brainy Chicks" in this episode.

    • As far as the credits note, Kevin Smith does not have a single line in this episode, yet he is billed as one of the main voice actors.

    • Originally the character design for the Korean animation director at the end of the episode was supposed to be a giant evil Mickey Mouse, but since the series was airing on ABC (who is owned by Disney) it had to be changed, but you can see the original animatics on the DVD.

    • After Randal throws his soda can into the garbage bag, another soda can mysteriously appears in his hand.

    • In the last bit of the show, Judge Reinhold's shirt keeps changing between his suit and a robe.

  • Quotes

    • (Judge is having a dream reliving "Beverly Hills Cop")
      Judge: Axel! Don't go!
      Judge's Wife: Honey, wake up!
      (Judge wakes up)
      Judge: Oh...I had that dream again...

    • Randal: I call to the stand Jay's best friend and closest confidante: Silent Bob.
      Jay: ...who?

    • Voice: Tom Cruise! Oh no! You want the truth, you can't handle the truth! Show me the money!

    • Axel: Billy! I need your help!
      Judge Reinhold: All right, Axel!

    • Reporter: Jay, don't you hate people who try to do Austin Powers impressions?
      Jay: Yeah, baby, yeah!
      Reporter: Oh, behave!

    • Voice: I'm going to burn this place to the ground and pee-pee on the ashes!
      Dante: Oh my god, who's that?
      Randal: That's... that's Regis.

    • Jay: Who's the plaintiff?
      Lawyer: You are.
      Jay: Cool, I'm a plaintiff. Bah nananananana plaintiff. Bah nunununununu bah nunununununu PLAINTIFF!
      Crowd: Plaintiff, plaintiff.

    • Randal: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Dante Hicks is just like you. He loves grape soda, he knows what it's like when the guy at the supermarket won't take your food stamps, or how it feels to wait all month for your welfare check. (waves his hands and starts chanting) HEY!!! HO!!! HEY!!! HO!!!

    • Dante Hicks: What are you doing? You're gonna get us both sent to jail!
      Randal Graves: In Virginia, anyone who passes the bar can be a lawyer.
      Dante Hicks: You haven't passed the bar! And this isn't Virginia!
      Randal Graves: They don't know that!
      Lawyer: Your Honor, may I point out that this man is not a lawyer, and we are relatively sure this is not Virginia.
      Randal Graves: Your Honor, may I point out that I've seen all of your movies, including Zandalee and Vice Versa.
      Judge Reinhold: I'm going to allow it.

    • Narrator: This is the defendant, Dante Hicks. His friend Randal says that he suffers from chronic nocturnal emissions during which he cries out the name of the heavyset woman with the receding hairline they always see at the Laundromat.

    • Randal: Mr. Hicks, in sixth grade, did you or did you not urinate all over the boys' bathroom floor?
      Dante: That was you!
      Randal: Yes or no!
      Dante: No!
      Randal: I might remind you that you're under oath.
      Dante: No, it was you.
      Randal: Your Honor, strike that from the record.

    • Bailiff: All rise for the honorable Judge Reinhold.
      (everyone laughs in the court room)
      Bailiff: Show some respect for Judge Reinhold. Sorry, Judge.
      Judge Reinhold: That's alright. It's more laughs than I got in Head Office.

    • Randal Graves: Hey wait. Are you the biggest idiot ever?
      Dante Hicks: No, you are.
      Randal Graves: Okay, then, this isn't a dream.

    • (after Jay falls down for the second time)
      Randal: Classic. I could do this for hours.

    • Narrator: Who's driving? Oh my God, BEAR is driving. How can that be?

    • Lawyer: Here to question Mr. Hicks are two giggling girls.
      Girl: Okay. Do you, like, have a girlfriend?
      Dante Hicks: (sighs) No, I don't have a girlfriend.
      Girl: Omigod, I told you.

    • Randal: Why the hell is he called Silent Bob, anyway?

    • Randal: State your name and latest film.
      George Lucas: Uh, George Lucas, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
      Randal: And do you think Phantom Menace is as good a movie as Empire?
      George Lucas: Well, certainly. I, uh, think it's the best movie I've made yet.
      Randal: Permission to treat this witness as hostile. Mr. Lucas, how do you explain that in Star Wars, Obi-Wan tells Luke that when he met his father he was a great pilot, but in Menace he's just a little boy?
      George Lucas: Uh well, my . . . my kids thought . . .
      Randal: And how come Obi-Wan tells Luke that Yoda is the Jedi that trained him, but in the movie Liam Neeson trains Obi-Wan?
      George Lucas: Um, well, the power of myth . . .
      Randal: Isn't it true you knew this was a bad movie?! That you wrote it over a weekend, but kept tellin' people it was done for years?!
      Lawyer: Objection, your honor! The pod race was pretty cool.

    • Jay: (after falling down) I think that stuff just kicked in, Silent Bob.

    • Randal: I could do your job.
      Dante: Oh yeah? You could never handle Quick Stop.
      Randal: Oh yeah? You could never handle RST.
      Surgeon: And neither of you could handle a balloon angioplasty on a collapsed aorta.
      Dante and Randal: Oh yeah?

    • Randal: RST is a place where people come in to live out their fantasies and dance the night away!
      Dante: No. RST is where people are supposed to rent movies.
      Randal: Tell that to Disco Granny.

    • Randal: Show us on the doll where they touched you.
      Dante: Nobody touched me.
      Randal: Who was it? There's no more running from your past. Who touched you?
      Dante: I hate you.

  • Notes

    • This episode contains the infamous JFK parody.

    • The opening disclaimer appears to be against celebrities.

    • The scene where Randal is yelling "Hey, ho!" to the jury had to be recorded several times because Jeff Anderson (voice of Randal) couldn't get the rhythm right. The writers would have to get him started and then drop out and leave him on his own so they could record!

    • This was actually produced as the fourth episode, but was aired as the premiere on ABC. Some have claimed that ABC running "Episode Four" as the first episode was a Star Wars reference, though that might be giving network executives too much credit.

    • Full episode title: A Dissertation On The American Justice System By People Who Have Never Been Inside A Courtroom, Let Alone Know Anything About the Law, But Have Seen Way Too Many Legal Thrillers.

  • Allusions

    • Anime
      Since the last section of the show was put together in a way that can't be singled out, here are a list of references made in the final section. Look hard if you can't find them. Sailor Moon, The Transformers, Speed Racer, Dragonball Z, Pokemon, and Tom Cruise and his films.

    • The People Vs. Larry Flint
      The shot of Dante in the wheelchair wearing the American flag as a diaper is a cheap and funny reference to Larry Flynt.

    • The People's Court
      The song you hear in the background when Jay walks into court is none other than the theme to The People's Court.

    • Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
      Randal: That? Oh that's Regis.
      A quick reference to Regis Philbin from back when he was on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire on the same network.

    • Judge Reinhold Movies
      Judge Reinhold: Oh that's okay. It's more laughs than I got in Head Office.
      A quick stab to his character in the film Head Office. The show also makes fun of his work in Beverly Hills Cop, Gremlins, Vice Versa and Fast Times At Ridgemont High.

    • The Facts of Life
      Doorman: Weren't you Natallie on Facts Of Life?
      Obviously, a quick reference to Mindy Cohn's character on The Facts Of Life.

    • The Austin Powers Trilogy
      Reporter: Jay, don't you hate people who try to do Austin Powers impressions?
      This comment and the next few that follow it are in reference to the Austin Powers series.