Season 3 Episode 3

Murder In Merrie England

Aired Unknown May 18, 1992 on ITV



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Mrs Peacock:(her confession) Yes, I did it. And I can't say I'm sorry. I feel I performed a public service. Well, someone had to. Since I'd started the whole mess in the first place, I thought it was my job to clear it up. If only I could have stopped the sale, but my solicitor said no and I had no choice and I did think the deposit would come in frightfully handy to pay for the maintenance. I mean, you should see the bills. Anyway, when that odious creature came into my study looking for his contracts, I simply imagined his head was a croquet ball that I wanted to send out of bounds, and I let fly. You see, what Arlington Grange stands for is irreplaceable. I could give it up, but I couldn't let that oaf spoil it for future generations. Oh, it's England. Croquet on the lawn. Tea in silver teapots. Sherry before dinner. One simply has to maintain one's standards.

    • Colonel Mustard: Are you alright, my dear?
      Miss Scarlett: I just found Max Gold and... I don't think he'll be wanting any dinner.
      Mrs Peacock: Why ever not?
      Miss Scarlett: He's dead. He's been murdered!

    • Max Gold: Magnificent fossils.
      Professor Plum: Please, be careful. They're from the dig in the grounds.
      Max Gold: Yes. Such a pity we must close it down.
      Professor Plum: What do you mean?
      Max Gold: That land is for water park.
      Professor Plum: You can't build there. It's an important archaeological site. I'll go to the press and expose you.
      Max Gold: That's no way to talk to your employer.
      Professor Plum: I wouldn't dream of working for a man like you.
      Max Gold: Professor, you have been working for me for some time.
      Professor Plum: Don't be ridiculous!
      Max Gold: You are consultant to Swiss pharmaceutical company...
      Professor Plum: Yes.
      Max Gold: ...Which I own. If you don't believe me, call Professor Steiner in Zurich.

    • Professor Plum: He's a complete philistine. He's going to destroy something that's irreplacable.
      Colonel Mustard: You can't stand in the way of progress. Isn't that what you always say?
      Professor Plum: Progress? Huh. Curing cancer is progress. Selling people what they don't need is exploitation.

    • Mrs Peacock: A circus! You are turning this into a cheap circus! You cannot do this!
      Max Gold: Mrs Peacock, from tomorrow morning, I can do exactly as I please.
      Mrs Peacock: It's an outrage. I won't let it happen.
      (Mrs Peacock storms out as Reverend Green walks in)
      Reverend Green: May I have a word, Mr Gold?
      Max Gold: Of course.
      Reverend Green: Mrs Peacock very kindly promised the church the five-acre field as an extension to the graveyard and I was wondering...
      Max Gold: Out of the question, my dear Reverend. That's where funfair is to be put.
      Reverend Green: What? A funfair? Next to my church?
      Max Gold: And scenic railway.
      Reverend Green: Scenic? I've never heard anything like it! I mean, it's sacrelige!
      Max Gold: Nonsense, Reverend. My railway will bring more visitors to your church in ten minutes than you would normally see in ten years.

    • Max Gold: I know you all want to hear my plans for Arlington Grange. Your old traditions and history, all very fine but they don't provide employment or profit. You're all living in the middle of last century! I, Max Gold, will show you the future. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Merrie England Theme Park!

    • Miss Scarlett: That man had the nerve to offer me a job!
      Mrs Peacock: A job?
      Miss Scarlett: Yes. He actually suggested I might make an excellent waitress in his Maid Marian Cocktail Bar!
      Mrs Peacock: Oh, you're joking!
      Miss Scarlett: I could strangle him. How could you sell our house to a man like that?
      Mrs Peacock: Well, quite simply, Vivienne, I couldn't afford to maintain it.
      Miss Scarlett: This place is meant to be my inheritance. I mean, what am I supposed to do?
      Mrs Peacock: I'm sorry. I had no choice.

    • Max Gold: You remind me of the greatest British hero of all.
      Colonel Mustard: Ah, I know who you mean. We shall fight them on the beaches. We will never surrender.
      Max Gold: No, no, much greater... I want you to be Merry England's very own Robin Hood.

    • Miss Scarlett: (at croquet) That's cheating, Reverend Green!
      Reverend Green: Oh, I'm so sorry, Miss Scarlett!
      Max Gold: A man after my own heart.

  • Notes

    • List Of Suggestions:

      Team 1: Colonel Mustard with the Meat Cleaver in the Study (1)
      Team 2: Professor Plum with Bow & Arrows in the Library (0)

      Team 1: Miss Scarlett with the Croquet Mallet in the Study (2)
      Team 2: Miss Scarlett with the Fossil in the Study (1)

      Team 1: Reverend Green with the Croquet Mallet in the Study (2)
      Team 2: Mrs Peacock with the Croquet Mallet in the Study (3)

    • Winning team: Sarah Kennedy and Jonathan Morris.

    • The panellists: all four were presenters - Nicholas Parsons was a radio and TV game show host (Just a Minute, etc.), Lynn Faulds Wood on the Watchdog consumers affairs programme, Jonathon Morris on Bread and Sarah Kennedy on the grim Game for a Laugh show.

    • Visiting panellist Nicholas Parsons was later to return as the Reverend Jonathan Green in Series 4.

    • Solution: Mrs Peacock with the croquet mallet in the study

  • Allusions

    • Max Gold: You remind me of the greatest British hero of all.
      Colonel Mustard: Ah, I know who you mean. We shall fight them on the beaches. We will never surrender.

      Colonel Mustard is referring to Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister during the Second World War. The speech that Mustard misquotes- the actual text reads 'we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender'- was delivered by Churchill to the House of Commons on June 4 1940. In 2002, Churchill was voted the Greatest Briton in a poll conducted by the BBC.

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