Cluedo

Professor Plum: These are all very dear friends of mine, of course, and I'm very fond of them, but you must understand that their average intellect resembles that of a lobotomized termite.

John Stapleton: What were these startling revelations you had for our dear departed friend? Miss Scarlett: Well, I told how Princess Catherine liked wild penniless men, fast cars and gambling and how she liked to go to sleazy strip joints and how evenings with her ended where I was holding her head while she was being sick from drinking too much bourbon. And it was all lies. Nichola McAuliffe: She's no better than she should be.

Reverend Green: Mrs Peacock, what on earth's the matter? Mrs Peacock: A miracle, Reverend, a miracle. Morgan is dead. Reverend Green: God does indeed move in mysterious ways his wonders to perform.

Mrs White: I know it's not my place, Mrs Peacock, but I don't think no good will come of you telling that man all them secrets about your society friends. Mrs Peacock: No. Mrs White: If the royal family were to find out what you'd said about Princess Catherine, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't want you no more at their garden parties or horse trials or royal premieres... Mrs Peacock: No, I see what you mean. But it's too late, isn't it? Mrs White: It's never too late.

Mrs White: The day of the royal wedding was the happiest day of my life. Even now when I watch it on the video, I have to have a hanky. Reverend Jonathan Green: This goes far deeper than mere matrimony, Mrs White. I mean, the vows of marriage have been breached many times but this... obscenity of a book threatens to destroy the very constitutional fabric of the Church of England. Mrs White: It may be that the Princess is not quite... Reverend Jonathan Green: Mrs White, Mrs White. It matters not what the Princess is. It is the protection of our future king that is important. I mean, rock the king and you rock the supreme head of the Church itself! This man must be stopped!