Cluedo

Reverend Green: (his confession) The time has come to confess before God and fellow witnesses. You poor peasants, you sad, witless souls. Did you not realise an artist walked amongst you, a true man of letters? Nay, I will go even further. A genius. I took into my hand the pen, the greatest weapon known to man. I flourished it with all the craft and eloquence of the noble Bard. I took unto myself to write words that would echo through the centuries down to the very end of time. And then she arrived and unravelled the text of my life. She knew that my book was not pure fiction but based on fact. So, naturally, I had to write the last chapter of her life. But let me say this to you, Philistines, lock me away, lock me away, and you don't just bang up a barmy vicar, you incarcerate a living legend. Yes, a literary legend! I, the Reverend Green, could have been up there on the heights. I was a contender. I could have been up there with Shakespeare, Dickens, Trollope, yes... even with Jeffrey Archer! (giggles maniacally) Oh, God, God, forgive me...