Season 1 Episode 19

Beginner Pottery

Aired Tuesday 12:00 AM Mar 18, 2010 on Yahoo



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Pierce: Jeffrey, when I was born, I got my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, both arms, and one of my ankles. Mom said there came a point when the doctor stopped delivering me and just started laughing. I mean, if I ever let being bad at something stop me, I wouldn't be here. That thing some men call 'failure,' I call 'living.' 'Breakfast.' And I'm not leaving until I've cleaned out the buffet. Now, how about a shove? (Climbs into boat)
      Jeff: (Pushes Pierce and boat out of door) Good luck, Pierce.
      Pierce: (Rolling away) Don't need it. Never had it.

    • Troy: Oh. My. God. Pierce is going to be the only person ever to drown in a parking lot. (Laughing) Twice!

    • (After letting Pierce "drown" in the parking lot)
      Troy: What in God's name have we done?!

    • Shirley: Britta weighs five pounds, Troy can't swim and I've never even seen the ocean!
      Troy: Uh, I can swim, racist.

    • Pierce: Now I know what the 'c' in captain stands for!
      (Britta gasps)
      Pierce: Crab-apple!

    • Troy: I hope I get multiple personalities. I get lonely in long showers.

    • Britta: Who even cares if he is pretending to be a beginner?
      Jeff: Pottery cares! Integrity cares! I don't care. I just care that he cares. It's lame that he cares!

    • Jeff: Nobody gets out of Santa Fe without learning how to make a pot! 45% Hispanic, 5th highest Native American population. They eat and breathe clay there.

    • Jeff: Guess where Rich is from.
      Britta: Couldn't have been Crazytown. You would have gone to high school together.

    • Jeff: Have you taken many pottery classes?
      Rich: No, this is my first.
      Jeff: Of the year?
      Rich: Ever.
      Jeff: No pottery in doctor school?
      Rich: Medical School.
      Jeff: Pottery School.
      Rich: Pottery School?
      Jeff: Oh! Pottery School! How long?

    • (Jeff just found out Rich is a doctor)
      Rich: (About Jeff's finger) Well the good news is, this is neither sprained nor broken.
      Jeff: Oh. Thank God. But I'll have to get a second opinion from a guy in my basket-weaving class.

    • Annie: Rich just showed me how to make a flared lip on my pot, and check for breast lumps!

    • (Pierce's hat falls off)
      Admiral Slaughter: That hat's gone. Lost at sea.
      Troy: I might be able to reach it! It landed on that Hyundai! I mean mermaid'

    • Admiral Slaughter: I don't see students here, I see sea-men. I didn't create them. From the moment you climbed aboard, I saw sea-men inside of you. More importantly, you've stopped giggling at word "sea-men". That's the mark of a real sea man.

    • Senor Chang: (Walks in shirt-less) Yes, I was robbed at the YMCA. Again.

    • Jeff: I mean if I were to ever make an effort in that class, you'd think I was the cat's pajamas too.
      Pierce: Cat's pajamas? (chuckles) Okay, Pierce.

    • Shirley: I've never been a captain before!
      Pierce: I have! Commanded a jet-ski through an electrical storm. Only had one casualty.
      Troy: Jet-skis only hold two people.
      Pierce: Exactly. Saved half of my crew.

    • Jeff: Hey guys, look at what I made: (holds up slab of clay) participation badge!

    • Abed: Jeff's competitive side had come out before. He had even displayed envy. And on that first pottery class he discovered tha-
      Jeff: Abed!
      Abed: What?
      Jeff: What did we discuss?
      Abed: No voice-overs, I'm sorry.

    • Pottery Teacher: If you so much as hum three notes from that Righteous Brother's song, with God as my witness I will come at you...with everything I've got.

    • Pottery Teacher: Now there is only one rule in this class. I will tolerate no reenacting, whether it is ironic or sincere, of the Patrick Swayze - Demi Moore pottery scene from Ghost. Ever since that movie was released in 1990, I've seen every conceivable variation of what I call: "Ghost-ing". Guy on girl.. girl on guy.. the hilarious guy on guy..

    • Pierce: How about you, Abed? Wanna sail with us? There's black people!

    • Troy: A black person on a sail boat? I gotta see this. I'm in.

    • Shirley: I was going to take a class on how to put together an online dating profile, but I think sailing in the parking lot is less pathetic.

    • Abed: But the nearest body of water is two and a half hours away.
      Pierce: Leagues, Abed. We don't measure water by hours.

    • Jeff: This class is like a red head that drinks scotch and loves Die Hard. I suggest you all get her number.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

No results found.
No results found.
No results found.