Mariah: What's in the briefcase?
Troy: Oh, tacos. You want one?
Troy: Great, we really wanted them.
Abed: Yeah, we're going to eat them.
Abed: Mariah, my name is Abed Nadir and my associate Troy Barnes.
Troy: Charmed, I'm sure.
Mariah: Are you the guys who keep staring at me and intermittently yelling out "books"?
Troy: We are both interested in taking you to the Valentine's Dance, but we are also best friends with each other.
Abed: It is the utmost importance we protect that friendship from the stresses of courting you, so we're trying to be as direct and above board about this as possible.
Troy: Will you go to the dance with us, and if so, which one?
Mariah: We need to get something straight first; this is the cutest thing that's ever happened to me. But, I don't know either one of you.
Abed: Give us a moment. (Troy and Abed huddle to plan) New proposal: get to know us in the dance and decided there who you'd like to see again.
Troy: Why does being a librarian make her even hotter?
Abed: They're keepers of knowledge. She holds the answers to all of our questions like "Will you marry me?" and "Why are there still libraries?"
Troy: I want to be a book. She can pick me up, flip through my pages, make sure nobody drew wieners in me.
Abed: Hey, maybe if we're too loud, she'll shush us. (yells) Books!
Troy: (the librarian looks up) Pretend you're asleep.
Jeff: Well, he also listens to the Barenaked Ladies. Go get their dumb asses to help you. (everyone gasps)
Troy: Okay, Jeff, you are clearly in a bad place today, but Pierce is our friend and the Barenaked Ladies are triple platinum, are you?
Jeff: Why does everyone leap to defend that band so aggressively? And how much stuff do we have to go through this year before my friendship stops being questioned?
Annie: Well maybe, friendship is about going through a lot of stuff, Jeff. And maybe BNL has two Billboard awards to your zero.
Jeff: Oh, okay, they're BNL now. We need a shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies. That's how fundamental they are. (everyone agrees) What Pierce needs more than anything is some space, maybe I do too.
Britta: You know what? Maybe we all need some space to pull the knife out of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid-90s, you selfish jaded ass!
Jeff: This is a fight! We are fighting!
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: February 10, 2011 on Citytv,
Sweden: October 8, 2011 on TV6,
Czech Republic: January 31, 2013 on SMICHOV,
In the end of the episode when Abed pretends to taste the writing on the bonbons and then admitted that he cheated could be an allusion to the German show Wetten, dass...? An author for the magazine "Titanic" pretended he could taste the colors of crayons but later admitted that he cheated.
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