Jeff: What a coincidean. You're throwing the dance the same day the CDC is confiscating our drinking fountains.
Abed: Placating the students with a fun event. Classic bread and circuses. In ancient Rome, the emperor would distract the populace from their problems by allocating money for free bread and circuses. I've been making a conscious effort from filtering everything through TV. I figured it's time I showed some growth. It's been three and a half seasons...is what the old me would have said.