Abed: It's very dangerous. We've lost our Cliff Clavin, our George Costanza, our Turtle or Johnny Drama or E. Man... that show is sloppy.
Mark: Uh oh! Sassy Black Shmitty's out of the group!
Kelly: Oh no not the group!
Scott: We're sad little Shmitties! Can't all of us little Shmitties just get along?!
Troy: (about the Bully) Who is that?
Jeff: A punk ass that needs to be destroyed.
Britta: And I just figured out how!
Annie: Can we focus on what's important here? Shirley thinks we don't care about her.
Britta: No, you're right, you're right, you're right. That's totally more important. I just have one thing- (to Jeff) You need to bang that kid's mom!!
Abed: Troy and I are pledging the cool fraternity, and unbeknownst to us, we're actually the target of ridicule and don't have in hell of getting in.
Troy: Yeah. They're making us walk around with pretzels in our butts. I put mustard on mine like an idiot!
Jeff: Guys, have you considered the "New Pierce" concept is stupid?
Troy: Spoken like the New Pierce!
Jeff: I am NOT the New Pierce!!
Annie: When you found out I was Jewish, you invited me to a "pool party" that turned out to be a Baptism!
Shirley: Well excuse me for trying to sneak you into Heaven!
Jeff: Oh! Check out Franken-Mom!
Britta: Ooh we can use that! No wedding ring. He's a child of divorce! We can make fun of him for coming from a broken home!
(Jeff gives Britta a weird look)
Britta: I don't care if this gets dirty. He asked for it.
Jeff: You're right. Get ready to meet "Jeff Winger Esquire, Attorney at ahh snap"!
(Britta gives Jeff a weird look)
Jeff: It'll be better than that.
Abed: He still assumes that I'm a terrorist.
Pierce: If you're not, I'm sorry. If you are, I'm a hero. I'm willing to take that chance.
Annie: You said I have a crafty Jew brain!
Pierce: Nobody knows how to take a compliment anymore!
Troy: At least he doesn't think Shirley's my mom anymore. He thinks that we're cousins!
Pierce: You're not?!
Britta: So what's the context for constantly referring to me as a lesbian?
Pierce: If the wallet chain fits. I'm just trying to help you find yourself.
Pierce: I think shmitty.. means loser.
Jeff & Britta: We know!!
Shirley: (to Pierce) You are pathological and you will never change.
Pierce: Oh, that is pot calling the kettle bl-... kettle...
Shirley: Oh you can say "black", Pierce, I'm a black woman. The cat is out of the bag. You have literally identified me to strangers as "The Black Woman"!
Britta: Discman's are retro!
Mark: Oh, oh! Is 'retro' when you're 30 and broke, and can't afford an iPod?
Mark: (talking to Jeff) Seriously, Nutrition, this is your life?
Jeff: Actually I was a lawyer.
Mark: Looks like that went well! And now you hang out with Shlip-Shlap (talking about Pierce) and Shlap-Skank (talking about Britta) who, oh my god! Is she wearing a discman?!
Jeff: (to Britta) How could you do this to me?!
Troy: Well I hope getting pantsed is on your your list!
(pulls down Abed's pants)
Abed: It is!
Britta: I have done things with my life! Awesome things! I've been to 14 countries! I helped build a school in Kenya! I once met Sting in a Cracker Barrel!!
Jeff: Why are you letting a bunch of teenagers get to you? I don't even remember what they said. It just rolled of off- (starts yelling at Pierce who is tuning his guitar) Would you stop tuning that guitar?! You are 105 years old! Tell me exactly what you did with your life to end up here, so I don't make the same mistakes!
Mark: Excuse me? Hi, we're in High School, but we're here taking some classes for college credit.
Britta: Well, alright! Way to be go-getters!
Mark: Thanks. So, we were just wondering, can you tell us exactly what you did in your lives to end up here, so that we don't make the same mistakes? Because if I end up 35 and celebrating a B in Nutrition in Community College, I'll kill myself.
Jeff: Hey Britta, whatcha gonna knit-ta?
Britta: Good mood, bad rhyme and.. is that a carb on your plate?
Jeff: I got a B on my Nutrition final and I am celebrating with pie and a dollop of whipped irony!
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: April 29, 2010 on Citytv,
Latin America: July 1, 2010 on Sony Entertainment Television (a.k.a. Canal Sony),
Sweden: November 22, 2010 on TV6,
Czech Republic: January 13, 2013 on SMICHOV,
Abed: We've lost our Cliff Clavin, our George Costanza, our Turtle or Johnny Drama or E. Man that show is sloppy.
Cliff Clavin: is a character from the TV show Cheers played by John Ratzenburger.
George Costanza: is a character from the TV show Seinfeld played by Jason Alexander.
Turtle or Johnny Drama or E: is three characters from the TV show Entourage played by Jerry Ferrara, Kevin Dillon and Eric Murphy.
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