Corner Gas

Brent: What's your resolution this year? Lacey: I'm going to give up chewing gum. Hank: What? Wanda: Gratuitous mastication. Brent: Hey, watch the language.

Hank: Yeah, I'd love to beat [Karen]. Jogging's easy, I should have given up jogging every day. Lacey: She didn't give it up; she is jogging every day.

Emma: Where were you when you turned 24? Oscar: I was fishing in Minnesota. Brent: Oh, so technically, you're an American. Emma: That explains a lot. You do tend to fly off the handle a bit. Oscar: I'm not American! I'm Canadian! Emma: And you have a lot of loud opinions not based on fact. Oscar: They're not opinions if they're right. Emma: You think you should be allowed to carry a gun. Oscar: Just for skateboarders.

Emma: We need your help. Brent: It's about my dad. Davis: I thought this day would come. (he pulls a file out of a desk drawer, opens it and offers Brent a pen) All you have to do is sign these papers and he'll be committed. Brent: We just want to play a joke on him.

Wanda: This job's for professionals... and Hank. Lacey: I am pretty good at scheming. (Wanda and Hank laugh) Lacey: So! I can help? Wanda: The laughing meant 'no'.

Brent: You need to start acting more Canadian. Emma: And don't question authority... that's American. Canadians defer to authority. And always say you're sorry. Oscar: But I'm never sorry! Brent: You don't actually have to be sorry, just say you're sorry; it's the Canadian way. Oscar: You're a jackass!

(Davis is pouring a little coffee back into the coffee pot, Hank has a crowbar) Hank: Hey, Davis! You know where Karen's locker is? Davis: (motioning to coffee pot) This isn't what it looks like. Hank: (motioning to crowbar) This isn't what it looks like. Davis: That's not a crowbar? Hank: Okay, it does look like that. What does yours look like? Davis: Like I'm trying to have some coffee, but leaving just enough so that Karen will have to make the coffee. Hank: I never would have got that.

Oscar: Brent, here in Canada, we don't call them 'restrooms', we call them 'washrooms'; isn't that right everybody? (no one answers) Our lawyers wear robes in court!

Brent: Hey, Yankee-doodle, good news! I was talking to a friend of mine over at the Canada Council... Oscar: What's that? Brent: A friend is someone you like, and spend time with... Oscar: No! What's the Canada Council?