Corner Gas

Davis: Hey, came to watch a match, did you? Thanks for donating the footballs, by the way. Lacey: Oh, well, it's the least I could do for our soccer team... give them some soccer balls... to play soccer with. Davis: The proper term is 'football'. I think it's good for the kids to hear some of the British terminology. Lacey: Oh, hey, what's the British term for a person who uses stupid British terms? Davis: 'Wanker'. Lacey: Good to know.

(wondering why Karen is driving so slowly) Hank: Oh, you're a little gun-shy from hitting the ditch, aren't you? You know, when I was a kid, my grandpa took me horseback riding, and I fell off the horse. Karen: And your grandpa made you get right back on; I get it, Hank. Hank: No, the horse stomped on my ribs a bit, and then kicked me in the head... twice. Anyway, uh... what were we talking about?

Oscar: Stupid machine! (picking up the remote) Where's the knob to fix this? Emma: I'm looking at him.

(to the team) Davis: Good game, good game! Now, we didn't win, but we tried hard. Lacey: Did we try hard? Because it looked to me like we didn't try at all. Davis: But, at least we had fun! Lacey: Well, did we have fun losing? Because, keep playing like this, and we're going to have a blast all season... losing.

Peter's Dad: I'm Peter's dad. ...He plays on your team. Brent: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. He's the one named Peter. ...With the uh ...shoes.

Wanda: All right, look, the tape you were watching was an audition tape that I did for a broadcasting course in college. Now, I'm glad you had a good laugh, but now I'd like it back. Emma: Can't have it. Wanda: What? But that's my private property. Oscar: We paid good money for those tapes. Wanda: I gave them to you for free.

(running in to The Ruby) Karen: Hey, Hank, I need to talk to you outside. Hank: Okay, just give me a minute, I'm almost finished my coffee. Karen: I need to talk to you right now; I got a call about a trespasser. Fitzy: Why do you need Hank for that? Karen: He's a... a... a suspect!

Lacey: Hey, are you two talking about the game yesterday? Because I feel really badly about the way I handled things. Davis: Oh, I am so glad to hear you say that. Lacey: I shouldn't have yelled at those kids right after the game. Brent: You took my candy away too. Davis: I completely understand; junior football can get a little crazy sometimes. Lacey: (severely) I should have made them run laps first, showed them the consequences of their actions, then laid into them. Teach them a lesson. Yeah. Next time. (perking up) Anyway, I gotta run, bye!

Davis: In the end, [the soccer parents] made up their minds; they want new sponsors. Lacey: You mean a new coach. Davis: No! New sponsors. I fought for you, but in the end, they didn't like being called the parents of losers. Brent: She said it, I didn't! Lacey: Well, that's what they are.