Corner Gas

Brent: Fill it up? Cable Guy: Please. Brent: Okay, how about I do it next Tuesday, some time between eight and four?

Lacey: Hank! When are you going to pay for the eggs I gave you? Hank: You cut off my cable, you get egged. Lacey: Well, I'm going to have to cut you off if you don't pay your tab. Hank: Oh yeah? Well, don't be surprised if you get egged. (he leaves, then returns) Hank: Hey, can I borrow some more eggs?

(about his van being egged) Cable Guy: I want whoever did this caught. Karen: Ah, well, maybe we can do it next Tuesday, some time between eight and four.

Wanda: What about a talk show... the three of us? Lacey: Okay, now that is a great idea! Three generations of Dog River women. Wanda: What do you mean, 'three generations'? Lacey: I just... well... I just meant... Emma: Oh, what she meant was that we've all lived here for different amounts of time, right? Lacey: You read my mind.

U.S. Network Lawyer: Linda, I have to sue some place called Sakatchajam... it's in Canada or Minnesota or something. Look it up and get them on the phone!

Cable Guy: Could I get some take out coffee, please? Lacey: Yeah, how about some time between eight and four next Tuesday? Cable Guy (laughs): That's a good one. Lacey: Yeah, I have a pretty unique sense of humour.

Karen: We pitched Oscar the crime stoppers show and he wanted us to put an ostrich in. Davis: Maybe we could have been more flexible about that. Or at least considered some kind of large bird. Lacey: You know, he wanted us to do the same thing with our show. And then he said we should be wearing roller skates.

Oscar (to Hank): I knew it! I knew someone in town egged the cable van! They tried to pin it on me... gave me a pretty good going-over. (cut to...) Karen: Did you egg a cable van? Oscar: Today? No. Karen: Okay. Thanks.

Hank: You think free laundry, chili cheese dogs, and taking time off is really going to help? Brent: Au contraire. And I don't say that lightly. Or with a decent accent.

Davis: You gotta be nicer to Brent. Karen: I'm nice enough! Davis: Do you have to have your top button done up when you talk to him? Karen: What are you saying? Davis: I'm just saying, would it kill you to flirt with him? Karen: Um... yeah.

(Oscar answers the door) Oscar: What are you doing here? Wanda: Don't tell Emma, but... I've got a proposition for you. Oscar: Hey! Emma and I sometimes fight, but I take my marriage vows seriously! Wanda: Not that. (she shudders) Oh, god, not that!

(Wanda is trying to suck up to Brent) Wanda: Strong decision, Brent. Gutsy. Oh, I don't mean, uh, guts, like, 'you have a big gut.' I mean, I meant, uh, lotsa guts but not lots like a big gut. (pause) Have you lost weight?