Corner Gas

Hank: You saved my life! Brent: Yeah, what's that make it? The eighth time? Hank: First time with a pickle... well, a sweet pickle.

(Lacey is flipping through a magazine in Corner Gas) Wanda: Lacey, true or false: your health's important to you. Lacey: Okay, I'll pay for the magazine, you don't have to threaten me!

(reading the label on the Organo Bar box) Brent: These don't have nougat in them or anything. It's got soy! That's like the anti-nougat. If nougat and soy were ever to touch, we'd all be vapourized.

(Oscar is trying to fix the garden) Emma: So have you figured out how you're going to pay for all this? Oscar: I don't have to pay for it, I can do it myself. I already fixed your shrubs. Emma: Yeah, about that? You planted them upside-down.

Fitzy: Normally, we hire Hank to do the census. Hank (to Oscar): I got experience. Fitzy: On the other hand, normally Hank screws it up somehow. Hank: Granted. Fitzy: On the other other hand, Oscar, you're... Oscar. So you can see my dilemma.

(eating a soy bar) Brent: Gee willikers, that's tasty. Wanda: Would you like me to teach you some grown-up curse words? I got lots.

Hank: Let's get one thing straight; I work alone and I don't need some hot-shot whiz-kid telling me how to count people. Oscar: I know how it goes down. Hank: You don't know how it goes down! You don't even know when it goes down! It just went down, and you didn't even know!

Hank: Out here, it's different! You need to forget everything you learned in training! Oscar: What training? Hank: I like your attitude.

Brent: Chocolate Organo Bars? How can something chocolate be good for you? It's a trick, isn't it? Are bats going to fly out of this? Wanda: You always think bats are going to fly out of everything. Brent: Wouldn't put it past them... all sleep-upside-down-y.

(as Karen leaves) Lacey: And don't worry, I'll be discreet! Brent: Hm... there's a phrase you don't normally hear yelled across a room.