Corner Gas

Hank: Until Comedy Night, you guys heckle me all the time. That way, when it's time to do my act, I'll be ready with the snappy comebacks. Brent: That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, you bonehead. Hank: Really? What's wrong with it? Lacey: I think he's heckling you, Hank. Because you asked him to. Like, ten seconds ago.

Brent: Will this book club have little sandwiches? Lacey: Absolutely. Oh, unless you're being sarcastic. Brent: I'm never sarcastic about sandwiches!

Oscar: Are there any little sandwiches left? Brent: Little sandwiches left. You don't know me at all, do you?

Lacey: You spit every time anybody says "Wullerton." (Brent and Hank spit) Brent: We did it again, didn't we? Lacey: Mmm-hmm. Brent: I'm sorry. If it bothers you, we'll make a real effort not to spit when somebody mentions . . . that place. Lacey: I'd appreciate that. Oscar: Hey, did you hear? They're building that new call centre. In Wullerton! (everyone spits, including Lacey) Brent: You're one of us now.

Bob Lang (on TV): It's just tough doing comedy in these little one-horse towns, you know? Hank: Hey, he mentioned us! Lacey: I don't think that counts as a mention.

Lacey: Comedy can be tough. You know, what if somebody heckles you? Hank: She's right. What if people make fun of me? I don't think I could handle that. Brent: So you're under the impression we don't make fun of you?

(Lacey tries to give Brent a synopsis of Life of Pi) Brent: Am I missing something here? You read the book and then you talk about it. It's not synopsis club. Hank: Cool, are you guys starting a hypnosis club? Brent: I said "synopsis." That doesn't even sound like "hypnosis"!

Emma: What's that? Karen: Life of Pi. Oscar: I'd like some pie.

Oscar: Sissy book club. I'm going for a smoke. Emma: You don't smoke. Oscar: I was just looking for an excuse to leave the house. Emma: Never feel like you need an excuse to leave the house.

Lacey: Karen, I'm glad you're here. Look, we need to talk about the book club. Karen Pelly: I thought the first rule of book club was, you don't talk about book club. Lacey: That's fight club. Karen Pelly: How do you know about fight club?