Corner Gas

(Davis orders all the same things for breakfast as Karen) Karen: What are you doing? Davis: I'm ordering my breakfast. Karen: No, you're copying everything I'm ordering! Lacey: Yeah, and you're starting to dress alike too.

Hank: The doctor gave me these eye drops. They're supposed to clear it up pretty quick. Taste awful, though. (Hank puts his eye drops into his glass of orange juice) Lacey: Hank, I think that's supposed to go in your eye. Hank: Orange juice in my eye? I don't think so.

Lacey: Okay, if you get a cup of coffee, a muffin, and two breakfast specials, I can give you three Dog River dollars. Oscar: I don't want all that crap. Lacey: Well, I'm sorry, but I don't make up the rules. Although... (laughs) in this case, I guess I do.

Oscar: All right. There's the stupid chip dip you wanted. Emma: I wanted a chip clip! You can't clip chips with this. I can dip chips, but what do I do with the leftover chips? Oscar: Sometimes I wish you just liked nuts!

Hank: Maybe I was too tough on [Wanda]. I, too, was once like her. Brent: Short and angry?

(after Brent has warned Hank that Wanda has breached the perimeter) Lacey: Sorry, she got past me. Wanda: That's right; I said I'd be back. (she laughs) You can't stop my pinkeye revenge! (rubbing her eyes, then rubbing her hands on the candy display) Go, my pets! Spread your pink path, as I have commanded you! (rubbing her face on the counter) Brent: Yeesh, a little dramatic. Wanda: Oh, like 'breach the perimeter''s your every day lingo?

(after Brent refuses to accept a Dog River dollar from Lacey on the basis that it's fake) Lacey: Well, of course it's fake; it's a Dog River dollar. Brent: No, it's a fake fake. See? There's a hair, or a crack, or a hairy crack on the elevator. Hank: (laughing) Hairy crack, good one! Lacey: So, what... it's a counterfeit? Brent: Yeah, see? (pulling out a real Dog River dollar to compare) No hairy crack, hairy crack. Hank: (laughing) Oh, that's awesome! Lacey: All right, you know what? I'm going to let you two grow up, and then maybe you'll realize how serious this is. Brent: Yeah, the town could be screwed out of tens of dollars.

Hank: Wanda's inside, she's breached the pedometer! Wanda: Stop screaming; my pinkeye's gone. Hank: It is? Oh. I guess I can hang out, then. Wanda: No, wait. Now I have a bad case of tubercu-leprosy. Hank: As long as it's not pinkeye.