Corner Gas

Oscar: Listen Wes, if you want to ruin a perfectly good business relationship, that's your business. My business is... your business is... my business is your business!

Wanda: Now I just need to finish the set design. I'm thinking something sparkly. Bright colors. Red, green, flashing lights. Brent: So, old Christmas decorations? Wanda: Yeah. Brent: Fine. You deck the halls, but I'm not donning any gay apparel.

Emma: I don't know how we all missed it, but Carl is kind of a... dink. Brent: Well, I've always had a very sensitive dink meter. Lacey: I wish I hadn't heard that. Brent: YOU wish?

Brent (about Oscar's homemade beer): Honest to God, Dad, it tastes like you beat a skunk to death with a salmon!

Carl: Look, you think we can have one pleasant meal with your mom without you getting all weird and defensive? Brent: I'm not weird and defensive. Carl: All right. See you at five. Brent: What's that supposed to mean?

Wanda: This show is brought to you by Chuck Dragner's pre-owned farm equipment. Stand up, Chuck. "If you can't trust the Chuck you're talking to, you're talking to the wrong guy named Chuck. " Geez Chuck, you gotta get a better slogan.

Mrs. Jensen: It's unjust, it's unfair, and I demand restitution! Brent: Mrs. Jensen, I can't be giving you your money back every time you rent a bad movie. Do you know how many bad movies there are out there?

Emma: I'm going out to get plant food, Oscar, do you need anything? Oscar: What are you getting plant food for? Emma: Because my tomatoes are pathetic and wrinkling, and when things are pathetic and wrinkly, they need food. Eat your sandwich.