Corner Gas

Lacey: What about you, Brent? Do you ever feel like you're just spinning your wheels? Brent: Never. Unless I'm actually spinning my wheels, like in mud or something. I guess that goes without saying. Lacey: Oh, that's one of my pet peeves: people that say 'that goes without saying' after they've just said something.

(a telephone conversation) Emma: Oh, hey, Lacey, can you send some soup over? Lacey: Oh, hi, Emma... no, I don't really do delivery. Emma: Well, I was hoping you could make an exception. Lacey: Well, if I do it for you, then I'll have to do it for everyone. Emma: I don't have a problem with that.

(Hank delivers soup to Emma from The Ruby) Hank: How about a tip? Emma: Don't marry the first person who asks.

Oscar: I heard you on the radio! Brent: What? Oscar: You're Dog River Dave! Wanda: You're not making any sense. I mean, I'm not surprised... I'm just saying.

Hank: This Dog River Dave's sure got your sense of humour. Brent: No he doesn't! He's just some goof who works at a gas station, who thinks he's funny. (Hank and Wanda look everywhere but at Brent)

Brent: I don't know why everybody thinks it's me, or based on me. Hank: Well, the guy in the radio is from Dog River, pumps gas, and thinks he's really funny. Brent: I fail to see your point. Hank: Aw, c'mon! I mean, if your life were a TV show, that's what the TV show would be. Brent: My life a TV show? Who's gonna watch that?

Oscar: Are you calling me a crazy old crank? Lacey: I would never use the word 'old'... to your face.

(the delivery service is becoming popular) Lacey: This is the worst thing that ever happened to me! Wanda: Didn't you find a raccoon in your sock drawer? Lacey: This is the second worst thing that ever happened to me!

Hank: Do you think I'm the town's biggest laughing-stock? Karen: No! Oscar is... then you.

Hank: It's not fair that everybody thinks we're the town's biggest laughing-stocks. Oscar: You, I get. But me... what did I ever do to this town? Ungrateful ungrates! Hank: Ingrates. I think that's 'ingrates'. Oscar: Ingrateful ingrates!

Wanda: One of the reasons that the delivery service is doing so well is that people don't have to... oh, how do I put this delicately? ...listen to you. Lacey (laughing): Good one, Wanda! But I am on to your sarcasm.

Brent: Thanks, Mom. Emma: For what? Brent: For convincing me to embrace this Dog River Dave thing. This is the best thing that's ever happened to this town. (pause) That's kinda sad, isn't it? Emma: Yeah.

Wanda: You should cheer yourself up. Have a chili cheese dog. Brent: I wish. But I don't think a chili cheese dog is going to fix this. Two could maybe do it though.

Emma (to Davis and Karen): You shouldn't be allowed to take any kind of job action. You're an essential service. In theory, anyway.

Wanda (to Brent): Why the long face? Or at least slightly less rounded face?