Corner Gas

Brent: Knock, knock! I come bearing gifts. Emma: What's this? Brent: It's my old MP3 player. I got a new one, so I thought you could have this one. Emma: What's an empty tree player? Brent: M-P-3. It stands for 'music playing... 3'.

(to Brent, upon seeing the perogies that Davis has made) Lacey: Wow, so how many of those you going to eat? Davis: Oh, no, no, no, Brent's not allowed to enter the eating contest. Lacey: Why? Are you some kind of pro or something? Brent: No, I'm not a pro... the pros know who I am. No, no one will enter if I enter, so I entered you. Lacey: You entered me? Brent: We should probably change verbs before this gets weird.

Brent: (to Lacey) Wow, you can eat. I had no idea you could unhinge your jaw like that. I think I saw you on the Discovery channel. Davis: Hey, Champ! So how'd you like those perogies, pretty tasty, huh? Lacey: Honestly, I was eating so fast, I didn't taste a thing. Davis: Oh, I see. I'm glad to know I wasted my Friday night cooking those up, when I could have been... I could have been... anyways, I wasted my time.

Brent: It's already arranged! I phoned Fitzy's Grandma, asked her to make four dozen perogies, bring them over here. Davis: Fitzy's Grandma! Why didn't you ask me? Brent: You said you'd never do it again. Davis: I didn't say that. Lacey: You did. It was just a bit more whiny.

(hearing Emma singing along to the mp3 player) Brent: Where'd you get this? Emma: Karen. She off-loaded some more down-with-it tunes. Brent: If by 'down-with-it', you mean filthy... you shouldn't be singing about things you don't understand. Emma: You put "Skinamarinkydoo" on here. I got no idea what that means. Brent: What's not to get? That's right in the title.

(trying to convince Lacey to go up against him in a food eating contest) Brent: Okay, how about this: you want to get the roof here fixed, right? Lacey: Yeah, but I can't afford it. Brent: I'll do it for you. I'll re-tar the whole place, I'll re-shingle the eaves troughs or whatever you do to a roof, no expense to you if you can beat me in an eating contest. Lacey: Okay, I'll do it. Brent: Why not? Lacey: I just said I'll do it. Brent: Oh.

Karen: (on the phone to Brent) Look, what is your problem? I am just trying to get Emma into a bit more contemporary music; I'm not doing her any harm. Emma: That's for shizzle. Karen: What'd you just say? Emma: I'm just saying it's dope, dawg.