Corner Gas

Brent: Is this something you have to do right now? Prime Minister Paul Martin: Is now a bad time? Brent: Sort of... for me, anyway. I kind of had the next 30 minutes planned out. Prime Minister Paul Martin: Couldn't you do your thing later? Brent: This is really the only half hour in the week they let me do anything; the rest is pretty much Canadian Idol.

Hank: Well, I've been thinking... I don't contribute to society. Brent: Sure you do! You're a morale booster. By contributing nothing, you make everyone else feel good about themselves.

Emma: People who use these plates usually have something wrong with them... more wrong with them. Oscar: Who cares? Now we can park close to things! Emma: Where are we, Manhattan? We always park close to things. Oscar: Gotta think ahead. Emma: Try thinking, period.

Lacey: Hey, maybe we should run together, start a group. Wanda: What's in it for me? Lacey: Motivation. Companionship. Maybe even a little friendly competition. Wanda: Yeah, I'll do it anyway.

Wanda: Yeah, my aunt has a bad back; it's terrible. Oscar: Sometimes, the pain's too much. Wanda: No, I meant listening to her go on about it.

Lacey: We're training for the Fun Run. Brent: Jeez, there's two words that don't belong together!

Hank: Oh, hey, Oscar, I heard you're mentally handicapped. Oscar: I'm not mentally handicapped! Hank: Oh, right, sorry. I meant 'mentally challenged'.

Hank: Karen! I got something I want to share with you. You know, one officer to another. Lacey (sarcastically): Officer! Karen: Uh, Hank, no offence... okay, offence, but you're a crossing guard. Hank: I know. That doesn't mean what you do is any less important.

Hank (to Karen): Now, you may not respect me, but I respect me and I respect you. In fact, I have enough respect to make up for the lack of respect that you don't have for me, respectfully.

Lacey: I can't run listening to Jann Arden. (cut to: Lacey running with Jann Arden Jann Arden: So the tour bus pulls into Winnipeg, it breaks down, ...absolutely terrible... and then I got a sinus infection and the only doctor who was even around was a dentist, which I thought...) Lacey: That's not what I meant. Wanda: Plus, you wouldn't be able to keep up with her.