Corner Gas

Brent: Hey, do you think my hair's too long? Davis: Too long for what? Brent: I mean just in general. It feels all wuffy and scraggley, know what I mean? Wanda: Do either of those words mean 'thinning'?

Karen: I cut Davis's hair all the time! Davis: When do you ever cut my hair? Karen: You take a lot of naps.

Lacey: When are you going to stain my deck? Hank: My back's been acting up; I'll do it soon. Lacey: 'Hank' soon, or 'the rest of the world' soon? I can't wait 10 years. Hank: Like I'm gonna make you wait 10 years. Lacey: Five years? Hank: Maybe less...

Hank (to Lacey): Don't try and butter [Wanda] up. She already told you you don't have the infinity things... with the triggers on it or nothing... Wanda (to herself): Well, I suppose I'm no less smart than her. Hank (continuing): ...with a chronominey clause with the renumering. I mean... do you understand English? Lacey: I don't know! Try speaking some!

(Oscar and two teens admire his noisy car; Oscar sees Davis writing tickets across the street) Oscar: Why're you hassling us, man? We're not doing anything, you lousy copper! Teen 1: Copper? Oscar: Well, what do you call 'em nowadays? (Teen 1 whispers in Oscar's ear) Oscar: That's just flat rude! Show some respect, you punks!

Hank: Hey! Here's the thing... I'll hire you to [stain the deck.] Brent: Good luck with that. Hank: No, no, I'm serious! From my own pocket. Cold, hard cash. Brent: Cold, then hot, then cold, hard cash? Hank: Yeah! Say, uh, 25 bucks? Brent: Nice try. I talked to Lacey, she told me the whole deal. Hank: Did not! Brent: Did not so! Said she gave you 200 bucks. Hank: 100! Brent: Sometimes it's too easy with you.

Emma: I've been cutting Brent's hair since he was a baby. You know, he's not even aware that it's something most people pay for. He thinks haircuts are just free, like sunshine or junk mail. He thinks it just happens. Karen: That's so sweet. Emma: It's kinda weird, when you actually think about it. Karen: It's a little weird, yeah.