Corner Gas

Brent: Now I don't have a job shadow. I'm job shadowless. I'm like a job vampire.

(discussing Barb & Tom's divorce) Emma: Well, Barb said it was the constant bickering that finally got to her. Oscar: They never bickered. Tom always paid full price. Brent: That's dickering. Oscar: I thought it was bickering. Brent: Dickering. Wanda: Now you're bickering about dickering.

Lacey: Hank, Pam is from the high school. Sometimes, career training early in life can really help people out in their adult years. (she and Brent stare meaningfully at Hank) Hank: I concur.

(Hank picks up a toaster at the Kid's garage sale) Hank: Huh, it's perfectly good. I can't believe you're giving it away. Kid: I'm not; it's three bucks. Hank: Holy rip-off!

(Emma is talking to Brent) Oscar (yelling): Didn't you talk to him enough when he was a kid? C'mon, it's lunch! Quit wasting time!

(Emma sees the "Out of Ord.... er" sign on the gas pump) Brent: Oh, Hank wrote that. Emma: Really? I'm impressed. A lot of those letters are from the alphabet.

Customer: Did someone say fondue? Lacey: Just about everyone has. Pam: I didn't say it. Hank: What? Pam: Fondue. Karen: Okay, that's everybody.

Karen: You know, if you ever want to try fondue, I've got a great recipe. But we need kirsch. Hank: Who's Kirsch? Karen: It's brandy. Hank: Brandy Kirsch? Do I know her?

Oscar: Emma's losing it. Fluffing pillows... giving me drinks! Wanda: Heartless hag.

Wanda: Your dad is officially nuts. Brent: Well, it's good to make it official.

Brent: It's give and take. You always want to let your employees voice their opinions, no matter how immature they are. (he leaves) Wanda: Math class must be looking pretty good right now. Kyle: You're not kidding.

Brent (to Lacey): Man, you are a stickler for detail. And I don't use the word 'stickler' very often. Or ever... that was the first time, actually.

Pam: Will there be stacking? I love to stack stuff. Brent: I like the cut of your jib.

Kyle: I also do desserts. Karen: You're not lame at all! Kyle: Who said I was lame? Karen: ...Not Lacey.

Wanda: I did everything but tell him to get lost. Then I told him to get lost... nine times! Oscar (laughing): Yeah, we're always joking around like that! Emma: What is this? Some sort of mid-life crisis? Wanda: Mid-life... what? Is he going to live to be 140?

Pam: I hope that was okay. Brent: That was great, which is why I have to let you go. Pam: I don't understand. Brent: You've done a bang-up job here. And because of that, people are going to expect a higher level of service. It's just setting them up for disappointment. I can't do that to my customers. Pam: I kind of respect your commitment to mediocrity.