Corner Gas

Wanda: Do you know what the odds are of Hank having a dream about my hair and a clock moving forward, and then me having to move my hair appointment forward? Brent: Ten to one? Wanda: Unfathomable! Science hates when things are unfathomable! The scientific mind demands that everything be fathomed! Brent: I understand. Or fathom.

(discussing whether to say 'the pothole' or 'a pothole') Brent: Actually, since the town only has one, Wanda's use of 'the,' while a tad pretentious, is technically correct. Wanda: And saying the word 'tad'? That's not pretentious?

Hank: I just woke up with this feeling of uneasiness! Brent: You had cotton candy and pepperoni for dinner, you're lucky you woke up at all.

Lacey: The suspension on my car is trashed. I just ran over a pot-hole. Wanda: You mean 'a' pot-hole, or 'the' pot-hole? Lacey: Okay, you know what? You really gotta knock off the article stuff!

Hank: I wanted to tell you about a dream, but I didn't want [Brent] to make fun of me. Wanda: So you think I won't make fun of you? I don't know if I like this development in our... uh... uh... Hank: Relationship? Wanda: Oh, that's way too strong! Much, much too strong!

Hank: I mean, maybe there's some higher power, you know, that's using me as a tool. Brent: You as a tool? I buy that.

Lacey: Yes! There's nothing in the Howler that says the town hates me. Oscar: Don't believe everything you don't read.

Davis: Hey, Hank, can you fix the trunk release on the patrol car? Hank: Yeah, probably. (he turns away, then turns back) Oh, you want me to. Karen: If you don't mind. Hank: Don't even talk to me about my mind!

Hank: I had a dream about your mom! Brent: You have five seconds to make my skin stop crawling.