Corner Gas

Lacey: Do you ever imagine yourself travelling somewhere you're not? Hank: No. I can't pull it off. I've tried... I've pictured myself on an island. Then I imagine some pretty girl rubbing oil on my back. And then I imagine her boyfriend pounding my face in. And then I imagine I'm suddenly made out of steel and a laser gun grows out of my shoulder, and I start shooting at the guy. Lacey: That's what you imagine... every time? Hank: Oh, no. Sometimes a bazooka comes out of my chest.

Wanda: Could you stop sending [e-mail] to me? The attachments are clogging up my in-box. Oscar: That's probably because you hooked your hard drive into the protocol, and then using bytes to spamming up the internet. Wanda: How are we ever going to tell when you actually do lose your mind?

Wanda: If we could talk to [Brent], he wouldn't be on vacation. He needs a break from all the pressures and stress of work. Lacey: Stress? Oh, come on! He pumps maybe 40 litres of gas a day and drinks 50 litres of coffee with Hank. Wanda: So then, replace the word 'stress' with 'fumes' and the word 'pressures' with 'Hank.'

Hank: Is Aruba near Cuba? Lacey: They don't arrange countries phonetically.

Hank: Brent left for his vacation? Wanda: Yup, he left this morning. He is now incommunicado. Hank: Where's that? Wanda: You're familiar with the island of Ignoramus?

Oscar: Don't rush me, I'm on the information super roadway thingy!

Lacey: Where were you last? Hawaii? Brent: Oh, no, too many tourists this time of year. Lacey: Well, can't you just imagine it's another time of year? Brent: Time travel? I'm not a warlock!

Wanda: He's got the bug spray right next to the cooking spray. This has "lawsuit" written all over it.

Lacey: Well, I am sorry for trying to talk to my friend who is sitting right over there, ten feet away from where I usually talk to him!

Brent: Yeah, it's my annual vacation. Comes around every two or three years. Wanda: Like my annual raise.