Trivia
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Trivia
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Quotes
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Wanda: I'm going back to The Ruby to get a receipt. Hank: That's what she said! Brent: You don't know what a double entendre means, do you? (Davis comes in from the pumps) Davis: Hey, Brent, your nozzle's stuck in my gas tank... it's too big, I can't get it out. (Brent and Wanda stare at Hank, who remains silent) Hank: What? I don't think she'd say that... doesn't sound like her. Wanda: You're completely clueless. Hank: That's what she said!
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Karen: I think what Lacey's trying to say is... well, have you ever had a job? Emma: Well, I raised Brent; that's work. Lacey: Yeah, that must've been a hand full... him just sitting there, then lying there. Karen: Eating things. (she and Lacey laugh; Emma glares) I'm sure it was hard.
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Fitzy: I'm hoping all municipal employees can help spread the word about bringing a call centre to Dog River. Hank: You want to make us a dog centre? That's the worst idea I've ever heard! Davis: That's the worst idea you misheard. He wants to bring a call centre here. Hank: Oh, sorry. (pause) Call centre? That's the second-worst idea I've ever heard!
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Widow: Thank you so much for coming. Wanda: Corner Gas sends its condolences; Jeff was one of our favourite customers. Widow: Jed. Wanda: Very sad.
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Oscar: What are you doing here? Wanda: I came here to pay my respects. Oscar: You knew Jed? Wanda: Oh yeah, of course! ...Played softball together. Oscar: He's been in a wheelchair for the last 15 years! Wanda: That's why we called him 'Wheelie'.
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Lacey: I am so glad you came. Karen: Well, you said when you called you weren't sure whether it was police-related or not? Lacey: I need help moving my dresser. Karen: Yeah, that's not police-related. Lacey: Yeah, I kinda thought so. But now that you're here...
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Fitzy: This call centre is a big operation. Do you have any experience? Emma: I raised Brent. Fitzy: Well,... you keep saying that. Emma: I've been on committees, I helped run the gas station... Fitzy: Well, not really. Emma: I did the books, I made sure there was inventory. Fitzy: Hmmm. Emma: Give me the job or I'll come in here every day and make your life a living hell. Fitzy: Your forcefulness could be an asset. Welcome aboard!
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Davis: This call centre's bad news. Fitzy's gonna blow all this money on infrastructure, and the police budget's gonna take the hit. And then bye-bye cop boat. Hank: Where are you gonna use a cop boat? Davis: On the river. Hank: What river? Davis: Dog River. Hank: There's a river? Davis: I've gotta stop this call centre. Hank: Count me in! Davis: I was afraid you were gonna say that.
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Karen: So you're telling me, you see a box, and you're not thinking 'What's in it?' Brent: There's a box over there, I'm not thinking 'What's in it?' (he points to a box clearly marked "MotorOil") Karen: That's because you know what's in it. [Lacey] has no idea what's in it. And it's hers! Brent: Ah, it's probably just some old junk. Karen: That's what she said. Brent: Wow, you guys really don't get how to do that joke.
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Oscar: (laughing) Nice jacket. Going to a job interview? Emma: Actually, I have a job. Oscar: What? Who's gonna raise Brent?
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(trying to convince Wanda to let him go to a funeral with her) Oscar: Come on, it'll be fun! Dead people... sandwiches... me. Wanda: I work alone. I mean, I skip work alone.
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Karen: This is gonna sound weird, but I think we should break into Lacey's house and open up that box of hers. Brent: Yeah, that does sound weird. Karen: Well, it wouldn't be breaking in. She did invite me, the other day. Brent: That's the rule for vampires, not cops.
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(opening what they think is Lacey's box) Brent: Socks. Why would somebody be secretive about socks? Karen: Those are my socks. Brent: How'd [Lacey] get your socks? Jeez, you were right to be nosey.
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Oscar: So... when's the next [funeral]? Wanda: Ah... you know what? There's no more funerals on the horizon. It's back to work. Oscar: No! We got a good thing going here! Wanda: It's over. Some people died, and we had a few laughs, and snacks. Now it's time to move on.
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Brent: Jeez, now you're going to a funeral? People are dropping like flies. Emma: No, I'm dressed for work; I have a job. Brent: (disbelievingly) Okay. Emma: I do. But I don't want you to feel neglected because you have a working mom. I know some of your other friends' moms don't work. Brent: I could go for a few hours of neglect right about now.
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Wanda: Can I talk to you for a sec? There's no pleasant way to say this, but I think someone's been crashing the funerals around here. Fitzy's Grandma: Really? Wanda: Yes. Fitzy's Grandma: Well, you'd know, you're at almost all of them.
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(on the phone) Hank: Hello, Coalition Against The Call Centre, co-founder Hank speaking. Lacey: Hank? Look, I need to speak with Davis or Karen; someone just broke into my house. Hank: Oh, I'm sorry, no police emergencies on this line. Call centre business only. Thank you. (he hangs up, then, to Davis) You have got to stop giving out this number. Davis: There's nothing I can do. I think it's on the side of the car.
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Emma: Now people think I'm connected to you! Someone just threw a bun at my head. Hank: Ah, we're getting through to people.
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Notes
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Allusions
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(the mystery box is opened to reveal a Christmas wreath) Brent: 'Peace on earth' ...is all it said. The song "One Tin Soldier" by Original Caste (1969) is about two factions, the mountain people and the valley people, that go to war over a treasure buried in the mountains, resulting in the deaths of the mountain people. When the stone covering the treasure was removed, the victors simply found a message of peace. The final line of the final verse is "'Peace on earth' was all it said."
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