Corner Gas

Oscar (about Emma): I don't know what to get her. Wanda: Well, coming to the gas station was a great start. There's motor oil, antifreeze, two-liter bottles of pop ... Oscar: Oh, she likes pop. Wanda: Don't get her pop.

Hank: I stay trim by eating healthy. Davis: Oh yeah? What do you snack on? Hank: Well, I... just ate a pie. But I got a fast metabolism.

Oscar: Notice anything different about me? Wanda: Have I seen you in that green ball cap before?

Wanda: You don't think the spa's pleasant? Emma (sarcastically): Oh, yeah, total strangers touching me! It's more pleasant talking to you... no offence. Wanda: None taken.

Brent: All right, listen, don't let him talk you into any fancy extras. You don't need a whole bunch of... hang on! Lacey: What? Brent: Is my bum getting warm? Bill: It's the seat warmers! Brent: She'll take it!

Hank: You guys made a commitment. You gotta try and stick this fake marriage out. Lacey: We are not fake-married! Hank: Look, every fake relationship has its ups and downs. It's what you do during the down periods that defines your commitment. Brent: The fake reverend is right.

Hank: Hey, good work, Karen. Karen: This was a really good idea you had, Hank. Eating these muffins has really made me feel more energetic... especially 10 minutes after I eat them. Then I kinda crash... so I just eat another one!

Davis: Maybe after we eat a donut, we could reward ourselves with muffins.

Oscar: I need a woman's advice. Hank: I can give you a woman's advice. Oscar: I'll go with a woman. Hank: That's sexist.

Karen: Tomorrow I'll bring in some healthy snacks. Davis: How about plain donuts? Baby steps.