Corner Gas

Hank: I lost my part-time job delivering papers. Brent: Oh, why'd they give you the boot? Hank: Ah, something about lack of focus, reliability... it's kind of fuzzy. Lacey: I didn't know they delivered The Howler. Hank: No, it was one of those big-city ones... The Globe & Post, or The Post & Beam... National Stick... I can't remember.

Vicki Gabereau: Well, I'm with the world famous cartoonist, Brent LeRoy. Tell me, Brent, is this the best your imagination can come up with, being on the Vicki Gabereau Show? Brent: What, I love your show! Vicki Gabereau: But this isn't even my set. Brent: Oh, this is just all in my head. Vicki Gabereau: Uh-huh... well, your imagination sucks. I'm getting a coffee. (she leaves)

(Lacey's tip jars are empty) Lacey: What's wrong with trees? Hank: Dogs pee on 'em, they get sap on your clothes, you gotta rake up their leaves, they don't make any sound when they fall in the forest... no one trusts them. Lacey: Did you fall out of one? Maybe at an early age? Hank: Let's not make this personal. Trees suck, is all.

Emma: You're delivering papers? Wow, Oscar, I'm feeling something for you I've never felt before. Oscar: Pride? Emma: Pity.

Emma: You're going to be out of the house all morning, every morning? Oscar: Damn straight. Emma: Chase your dreams, Oscar.

Lacey: What do you think of the trivia section? Hank: There's an air of triviality to it. Lacey: Makes you think though, I mean Brent's cartoon is funny but who knew that the Saskatchewan was bigger than the entire country of Sweden? (cut to the Office of the Premier of Saskatchewan) Lorne Calvert: So what do you think of that, Sweden?

Wanda: Nice haul. I wish I got tips. Lacey: Oh, well... I work in the service industry. Wanda: I work at a service station... a station of service. Lacey: Yeah, but you don't serve food. Wanda: You mean Gummi-Floss isn't food?

Emma: The phone's been ringing off the hook from people who didn't get their papers. Oscar: Well, don't look at me; I don't know how they got our number.

Oscar (to Brent): You're taking the food out of my mouth. I need to feed my family! Wanda: He is your family. Oscar: You're taking the food out of your own mouth!

(as people leave tips in the question jars at The Ruby) Hank: What can I say? I do good jar.

Wanda: Just adding a little something to augment my tips. (Brent looks at her) Wanda: I said tips.