Corner Gas

Hank: I got my picture in The Howler. Brent: That happens to you all the time. Hank: Yeah, but this time it's for something good. (Hank shows everyone the headline) Lacey: Finally, a headline without the word, "mishap" in it!

Hank: You were talking to Oscar. Emma: Oh, right! I tend to repress a lot of our time together.

(looking at a 'Xena, Warrior Princess' design) Hank: You know, I know a guy who could airbrush that wicked fast for you. Karen: It's a police car, not a make-out van. Davis: I don't see why it can't be both. Now, this airbrush guy, does he have a portfolio? Hank: Ah, no... a Camero, I think. Davis: I mean, does he have an example of his work? Hank: Yeah, I know. It's on his Camero.

(Brent is fixing his glasses) Wanda: How'd you... let me guess, Hank? Brent: Well, it's my fault, really. I made friends with him in grade 2. Wanda: Well, look at the bright side... Brent: Is the bright side three inches from my face? 'Cause otherwise, I can't look at it.

(Brent isn't wearing his glasses) Karen: Hey, Two-eyes! Brent: It's not nice to tease, you know... whoever you are. Karen: Actually, it's a good look; brings out the face on your head. Brent: Thanks, I think.

Lacey: Laser surgery? Brent? Oh, please! He gets squeamish cutting his nails. Brent: I have sensitive cuticles. Sensitive, manly cuticles.

(looking at his Corner Gas receipt) Oscar: Wanda overcharged us 25 cents! Emma: Gee, I wonder if you'll over-react to this?

(Brent is looking at the Yellow Pages) Wanda: Laser tag? Count me in! Code name: Savage Fox. Brent: Beside the laser tag. Wanda: Laser hair removal... little late for that.

(at the laser eye surgery clinic) Brent: Hey, thanks for coming with, Wanda. Wanda: Glad to help. Especially since you made it a condition of my continuing employment. Brent: Yeah, I like the part where I did that.

Brent: The point is, Lacey never needs to know about this. Wanda: I don't want her to know about this. It's way more fun watching you flail around like a moron, trying to fool her. Brent: I knew you'd have my back.

Davis: He coughed without covering his mouth? Oscar: Who knows what I could have picked up from that kid! Karen: Laryngitis would be nice. Oscar: Real funny! I could be at death's door! Davis: Ring the doorbell.

Brent: Hey, this slogan thing's not a bad idea. You think you could come up with one for me? Hank: Hmm... It's BLT ...Brent LeRoy Time. Brent: I kind of meant for Corner Gas, not for me personally. Although I ~do~ like that. (in a deep voice) It's BLT!

Brent: It's so crazy, it just might work (he tents his fingers) Wanda: Crazy? Seems pretty straight-forward to me. Brent: Yeah, me too, I just like tenting my fingers and acting all schemey.

Karen (to Oscar): We need you to watch and report back. ...Scratch that, we just need you to watch.

Lacey: You shouldn't trick people. Brent: You're right. Anyway, now I have to trick Wanda. Lacey: Can I help?