Corner Gas

Brent: Man, I have gotta start paying more attention to the people around me. Emma: Well, it won't be easy. Like I said, you've always had your head up in the clouds. (pause) Or up somewhere.

Lacey: You've got a real talent for Scrabble, Hank. You've got a beautiful mind. Hank: You mean like in that movie? Uhh, Weird Science!

Lacey: What you need is a mentor, a coach. Hank: Like in Cheers? Lacey: What? Hank: No, not that guy, he died. (thoughtful pause) Hank: What was that other show, with the coach? Oh, yeah, Coach!

Oscar: You're not gonna learn nothin' in a stupid book! Brent: Wise words, Dad, but I disagree.

Davis: Could you do something about your hair? It smells too much like . . . hair.

Karen: Oscar's got a cat up his tree. Davis: Oh, I see what you're saying. Karen: No. Oscar's got a cat up his tree. Brent: What did you think she was saying? Davis: I thought it was a euphemism for something. Brent: For what? Davis: I don't know, it just sounded like a euphemism. (shrugs) I didn't want to be left out.

Oscar: How'd you lose your smell in the first place? Davis: I got hit in the face with a ball. Oscar: Then what you need to do is get hit with a ball again. Davis: I don't think that'll work. Oscar: Why not? Davis: This isn't Gilligan's Island.

Oscar (about the cat up the tree): I'm calling the cops. Emma: You're supposed to call the fire department. Oscar: I'm not talking to them. Bunch of do-gooders. Always telling me what I can and can't set on fire.