Corner Gas

Oscar: Who the hell do you think you are? Brent: I like when you start a conversation by yelling, no lead up ...right into it. Valuable time saver. Oscar: I was walking downtown, and what should I see, but Brent Leroy's Corner Gas tree! Brent: So you wrote a poem about it? Oscar: That just rhymed by accident.

Karen: When I came back into the kitchen, the whole place was clean. Davis: Typical. Karen: No, it's a good thing; the place was a mess before, [Emma] cleaned it up. Davis: Oh, what'd she charge you for it? Karen: She didn't charge me anything; she just did it for free. Davis: So why're you complaining? Karen: I'm not complaining, I'm just telling you about it.

Lacey: Lunch special's Salisbury steak. Brent: Ah, nah, I brought my own. I figured I'd have lunch under my tree. Lacey: Oh, I understand. You want to be with it before it dies.

Karen: Well I should go into the hall and photocopy this now. Davis: I'll come with you. Emma: It takes two of you to photocopy? Karen: When you're a cop, you work in teams. Davis: It's important to have each other's back, whether making a big bust or photocopying a dainty recipe. Karen: Let's roll.

Hank: Where'd you get that bracelet? Lacey: Oh, hey, I used to have one just like that. Wanda: (laughs) I knew that! I saw yours and I thought I should get one myself... exactly like hers. From a store. And get a receipt, so I can prove it... which I have, and I will show you someday.

(at Oscar's bench) Brent: I don't know... it looks kind of hard, and uncomfortable. Oscar: Read the plaque. Brent: Courtesy of Oscar Leroy, founder of Corner Gas. Oscar: Now that's a legacy. Brent: Yeah, whenever people get a pain in their ass, they'll think of you.

(trying to figure out why Emma didn't clean the office) Karen: Maybe it's you; you can be a little off-putting. Davis: I'm not off-putting; if anything, I'm on-putting. Karen: Bottom line is you blew it. Davis: Your attitude is what's off-putting (Karen leaves) Now I have a craving for pudding.

Oscar: Trees are like magnets for booze. Brent: Do you even care about making sense any more?

(as Josh nails up the opening under the deck) Wanda: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing? Lacey: I 'm putting an end to this! The deck is closed. (all the customers on the deck stand and pick up their drinks) Oh, no! No, no, no, the deck isn't closed, just underneath the deck. Deck Customer: You can eat under the deck? Lacey: No. Hank: Sure you can! Lacey: No, you can't. Wanda: Lot of fries down there.

Oscar: The only reason that people are making out on my bench is because they're getting all liquored-up under your tree. Brent: They've got to drink to forget all the porn on your bench.

Karen: Davis is manipulating you! Emma: What? Karen: Haven't you noticed? Whenever you're around, he says things to make you mad. Emma: Why would he do that? Karen: Guess he just likes to wind you up. Emma: Oh, that selfish... (Karen hands her a broom and Emma begins sweeping)

(Wanda is stuck under the deck) Lacey: Unbelievable. You know, I should have put barbed wire around the deck. Wanda: Yeah, this is your fault. So go get someone to help me; I'm stuck! Ruby Deck Person: Oh my god, there's a child stuck under the deck! Lacey: It's not a child; it's Wanda. Ruby Deck Person: Oh. (he turns and goes into The Ruby)