Corner Gas

Karen: Do town meetings usually go on this long? Hey, have you ever been to one? What are they like? You seem crabby, are you crabby? Is something wrong? Davis: Yeah. You're not asking me enough questions.

(Davis picks up the ketchup and winces) Davis: I pulled a muscle in my neck. Lacey: Lifting ketchup? Davis: Yeah, I threw my back out the other day, shaving.

Oscar: You're getting old. Davis: I'm not old. Oscar: You're not young. This is how it works. One day it dawns on you that you're getting old. Then it dawns on you that you are old. Then it dawns on you that every day is just one more step you drag your carcass towards your cold grave, and then one day stuff stops dawning on you, 'cause you died. Davis: Have you ever done any motivational speaking?

Davis: This new music sucks. And it sucks too loud.

Brent: She is easy on the eyes. Oscar: Wouldn't be after Emma got through with her. Brent: Oh, that's true. Lacey seems nimble, but I don't think she could match Mum's raw power.

Oscar: I didn't know whether to tell you this or not, but someone in town has a crush on me. Emma: A crush ... on you. You couldn't get a dog to lick you if you were covered in gravy. Oscar: What the hell are you talking about? Dogs lick me all the time. Emma: So who's got a crush on you? Is Helen Keller back in town?

Lacey: You should seriously consider starting your own cult. Brent: I'm thinking about it. Play your cards right, you could be wife number 30.

Mayor: Any other ideas on how to improve tourism? Local: We could stop shutting down the town in the middle of the day to hold these town meetings. Mayor: And we'll discuss that at our next meeting ...... 11 a.m., Friday