Cougar Town Season 1 Episode 24

Grayson: Why does it always have to be a plan?
Jules: These things work better when you have a plan. Vacations, big talks, murders... I don't know why I said murders. It's not like I daydream about getting away with one. THAT would be weird.

Jules: Whenever Bobby gets bad news, he bolts. You should've seen me try to deliver the divorce papers. (Flashback shows Jules chasing Bobby down a beach on an ATV)
Grayson: Where did you get an ATV?
Jules: From a lifeguard, duhr.
Grayson: He let you borrow his ATV?
Jules: What are you, a detective?

Travis: What does Smith do?
Laurie: If I'm yelling, he just nods a lot and throws money around.
Ellie: First time I've ever been jealous of you!
Laurie: Thanks Ellie!
Ellie: You're welcome!
Laurie: Nice moment over?
Ellie: So over.
Laurie: Good. Felt wrong.

Grayson: How'd your talk with Bobby go?
Jules: It didn't. I was kind of thinking that tomorrow we could do it together.
Grayson: No way in hell. (Jules hits a button on the remote)
Grayson: (On tape) Jules, in a relationship, you have to do things you don't wanna do. It's part of being a couple. (In person) That's taken out of context!
Jules: You are so in! (Ellie comes in wearing a wool hat)
Ellie: Look at me, I'm Grayson!
Grayson: What is she doing here?
Jules: Ellie used to be a DJ. And she happened to give you a little remix. (Pushes a button on the remote)
Grayson: (On tape) Jules, in a relationship, sometimes you have to do things-
Ellie: Jules, in-your-face dance!
Jules: I don't know that one.
Ellie: It's just the running man. (Jules and Ellie start dancing)
Jules: Grayson, we're not staying here. Get your pjs, we're going to my house.
Grayson: Stupid relationship! (Leaves the room, Jules and Ellie keep dancing).

Grayson: Hey. You're in my house. How much snooping have you done?
Jules: Your hipster wool hat collection. (Pulls out a hat) We live in Florida. Don't be that guy.
Grayson: Sometimes they look cool.
Jules: On planet Douchalon.

Grayson: Jules, in a relationship-
Jules: Wait. If you're going to start pontificating about relationships, I'm gonna have to record this on my phone. Cause I guarantee it will come back to bite you in the ass.
Grayson: Thanks girl. (Into Jules' phone) Jules, in a relationship, sometimes you have to do things you don't wanna do. It's part of being a couple.
Jules: That is so good!

Grayson: Your house is great, but do you think we could ever sleep over at my house?
Jules: No. Whenever I'm in your bed, I feel like balloons are going to start falling from the ceiling like I'm the millionth customer.
Grayson: That's cool! I should rig that up.

Jules: Travis, about Grayson? Thoughts? Feelings?
Travis: Whatever. Makes you happy. Hey new Dad, give me twenty bucks, I'll never call you "new Dad" again.
Grayson: Winner. (Gives Travis $20)
Travis: Later Mom! I love you, new Dad.
Grayson: Feels right.