Cougar Town Season 1 Episode 21

Jules: (From downstairs) Travis, help! I'm hurt!
Travis: Yeah, yeah. I'm not falling for that again.
Jules: I'm serious this time! I twisted my ankle, it might be broken! (Travis comes downstairs, Jules is fine)
Ellie: Sucka!
Bobby: Sucka!
Travis: Great job, adults!

Andy: So you really don't care where Travis goes to college?
Bobby: Of course I do. I can't afford to visit him in California. But I didn't tell him that, cause I want him to make the decision on his own.
Ellie: Out-parented by Bobby! How does it feel?
Jules: (Mimes pulling a knife out of her gut) Dagger!

Jules: Would you rather be with someone emotionally stable or someone who, on game night, carves "die, bitch" in the kitchen table because you think he sucks at Jenga?
Laurie: There are positives and negatives to both.
Jules: There really aren't.
Laurie: I know. And I am sorry about the table.
Jules: It's okay. I added a T so now it says "diet, bitch." It's actually pretty motivating.

Jules: I know I'm being ridiculous, you just don't know how it feels.
Grayson: To be lonely? I think I do. (Kisses Jules's forehead; the two stare at each other)
Laurie: But what the hell, right? Sometimes you have to go for it when you know it's what you've wanted all along. (Jules and Grayson kiss)
Jules: Wow. (Grayson picks her up as they continue to kiss) Is it gonna totally kill the mood if I stop to brush my teeth and shave my legs?
Grayson: Yeah.
Jules: Fine. (They continue to kiss as Grayson carries her up the stairs)

Travis: (About everyone's drinking) It's eight in the morning.
Bobby: We're trying something.
Jules: It's European.
Ellie: We don't answer to you.