Cougar Town Season 1 Episode 18

Jules: You know what this means, Ellie! I can still change! I just almost have to die! You know I bet if I almost died from drinking wine, I could stop doing that too!
Ellie: I'm not sure that's the right message to take away from this.

Sarah: Try some of that banter you use on the young girls.
Grayson : Well, we start with middle names and then do favorite numbers, and if things are going really well we'll move on to kittens vs. puppies. I like puppies cause it tickles when they lick you.
Sarah: Okay let's just do this. Are you close with your folks?
Grayson: Not a great area.
Sarah: Do you see yourself getting married again?
Grayson: Also usually avoided.
Sarah: Once when trekking through Nepal, I had to act out "Where can I find a tampon?" to a monk. This conversation? Harder than that.

Ellie: Aw, did someone not have fun on his big-boy date?
Grayson: "Why did you marriage fall apart?" "Are your parents nice?" "What are your hopes and dreams?" Why can't we just talk how real people talk?
Jules: That is how real people talk.
Ellie: Zinger! Right here. (Does a chest bump with Jules) Bing!

Laurie: I'm still young enough to totally change who I am.
Ellie: We can only hope.

Grayson: (After being caught putting a girl into a cab by Jules and Ellie) Go ahead.
Jules: You know, she's so young she might actually be from the future!
Ellie: Does her dad work on the moon?
Grayson: That's great. Can I go now?
Jules: Not till we celebrate. Girl chest bump. (Jules and Ellie bump chests) Bing!