Cougar Town Season 2 Episode 15

Jules: I'm not gonna sit here and be judged by someone who doesn't have a nineteen-year-old and most of all, who thinks there's a ghost in her pickup truck!
Ellie: Then who keeps moving my sunglasses, Jules? Who?

Bobby: Man, my name has a lot of B's in it.
Laurie: My name doesn't have any B's in it.
Bobby: Oh. I'm sorry I brought it up.

Grayson: When something kicks ass, it's a good thing.
Bobby: How? Every time I've had my ass kicked, it's been horrible.
Andy: We've been misusing that phrase for years! So, all agreed to change it?
Laurie: Absolutely!
Grayson: No! You can't just change common phrases, okay? Words have meaning.
Laurie: Slap out of it and play.

Jules: Name one thing I've done to Travis that is "meddlesome." (Everyone answers at the same time)
Bobby: You watch him sleep.
Ellie: You scared his girlfriend away.
Laurie: You want to live in his blood.

Laurie: (About Travis and Kirsten) He could give her a puppy that would blow up if she took it across town lines! It's from my new screenplay, "The Blow-Up Pup." It's a prequel to Speed.
Jules: It's not.
Laurie: Or, you could let Trav handle this on his own.
Ellie: Jellybean, you just simultaneously uttered the dumbest and smartest things you've ever said!
Laurie: That's how I do.