Cougar Town Season 2 Episode 17

Bobby: Jules, embarrassing things happen to me a lot. What's the point in hiding from it? I just put a big smile on my face and say I chucked it, world, and I think it's funny, too. And next thing you know, boom! Pop culture phenom.
Random girl: Wrong balls!
Bobby: Call me! (To Jules) Now that I'm famous, my gold lessons are booked solid. I don't even have to buy my own drinks anymore.
Jules: You never did before.
Bobby: Yeah but now it's not stealing.
Jules: True.
Bobby: You know how much I like meatball subs? Well, guess whose the new spokesperson at Mel's Hoagie Hut!
Jules: I can't believe this.
Bobby: Hey look, I know you biffed it with the kids yesterday.
Jules: Stupid blabby town!
Bobby: Just remember, you can't hear the world laughing at you if you're laughing harder. You gotta own it, sugar.

Laurie: Can I play?
Ellie: That'd be like taking candy from a baby. No, an animal baby.
Grayson: (Chuckling) You're so mean. I can't get over it.
Ellie: I know, right?

Jules: From this point forward, what happened at that school will not bother me.
Grayson: Attaboy, Richard!
Jules: (Hits Grayson) That will never be spoken of again. Which is why it will not bother me.

Andy: I volunteer at the shelter too. During the self-defense classes, the women take turns kicking me in the crotch.
Grayson: So it's like a regular day at home for you.

Laurie: Jules, I didn't know you sponsor an African child!
Jules: Oh yeah, little Omari. He's ten. I gotta say, those letters are getting a little repetitive; "It's hot, I'm hungry, there's snakes."